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Lost in the Sauce: 5,000+ covid deaths a week with no end in sight

2020.06.08 14:22 rusticgorilla Lost in the Sauce: 5,000+ covid deaths a week with no end in sight

Welcome to Lost in the Sauce, keeping you caught up on political and legal news that often gets buried in distractions and theater… or a global health crisis.
I may do another protest/police-focused post this week, since it could not be included here.
Housekeeping:

Nominees and appointees

Fired-State Department Inspector General (IG) Steve Linick testified to Congress that he informed at least three top Pompeo aides that he was reviewing Pompeo and his wife’s use of government resources. Linick’s testimony undercuts Pompeo’s defense that he couldn’t have fired Linick in retaliation because he was unaware of what investigations the IG was pursuing.
  • Linick also told Congress that before he was fired, he had also submitted a formal document request for records related to Pompeo's and his wife's use of resources. Congressional committees have requested voluntary testimony from the three Pompeo aides. "There's more information we need," one of the lawmakers said. "If we are unable to obtain it voluntarily, it should be subpoenaed."
Senate Judiciary Committee Chair Chuck Grassley said he will block two of Trump’s nominees from confirmation until the administration explains watchdog firings... However, these two nominees - director of the National Counterterrorism Center and an undersecretary at the State Dept. - are relatively unimportant to Trump and are unlikely to spur action from the White House.
Trump’s appointee to the United States’ foreign aid agency has denounced liberal democracy and “our homo-empire.” The appointee, Merritt Corrigan, also wrote that Hungarian Prime Minister Viktor Orban is “the shining champion of Western civilization.”
The Senate confirmed Trump’s nominee Michael Pack to lead the agency that oversees Voice of America despite the fact that Pack’s nonprofit organization is being investigated for possible tax violations. The vote was 53-38, with eight Democratic caucus members not present and Sen. Manchin (D-WV) voting in Pack’s favor.

What is Congress up to?

The Senate Intelligence Committee approved a measure that would require presidential campaigns to report offers of foreign election influence to federal authorities… The committee adopted the measure behind closed doors in a classified setting, adding it to the Intelligence Authorization Act, a bill setting policy for the intelligence community. Senate Republicans, however, are preparing to remove the provision from the bill when it heads to the Senate floor.
  • Sen. Warner has repeatedly tried to pass the bill in the Senate, but it's been blocked by Republicans, including Sen. Marsha Blackburn of Tennessee. After she blocked the bill in June 2019, calling it a "blatant political stunt," Trump tweeted his appreciation for her efforts.
Senate Foreign Relations Cmte. Chairman Jim Risch (R-ID) has abandoned efforts to get Pompeo to testify in a routine annual budget hearing… Risch has tried for months to persuade Pompeo to testify but has given up so as to preserve “political capital,” he reportedly said.
  • TO BE CLEAR: Republicans have given up on even the pretense of standard oversight. Sen. Risch is rubber-stamping everything from the White House in order to keep Trump happy.
The House Judiciary Committee has lined up whistleblowers to testify about alleged political interference inside the Justice Department as AG Barr continues to rebuff efforts by the panel to reschedule testimony he committed to in March. The whistleblower hearing has yet to be formally scheduled.
House Judiciary Cmte. Chairman Jerry Nadler has introduced legislation to cut $50 million from the DOJ’s General Administration account, which funds the Attorney General’s personal office… Nadler says the bill, which is unlikely to pass the Republican-controlled Senate, is a response to “continued defiance of Congress and improper politicization of the Department of Justice.”
  • Nadler: “The American people deserve answers from Mr. Barr about actions the Department has taken to harass states during the coronavirus epidemic, his improper interference in cases against President Trump’s political allies, and much more. Because the Attorney General refuses to appear before Congress to provide those answers, we must now use our budgeting authority to compel answers and to reign in his deplorable behavior.”
Senate Republicans authorized Homeland Security Cmte. Chairman Ron Johnson to issue a wide range of subpoenas as part of an investigation into the origins of the Russia probe and allegations of wrongdoing by top Obama administration officials. The Senate Judiciary Cmte. is scheduled to authorize Chairman Lindsey Graham to similarly issue dozens of subpoenas this week.
  • Graham's subpoena authorization covers 53 officials, while Johnson's names 35 individuals. Of those, there's an overlap of two-dozen names including John Brennan, James Clapper, James Comey, Lisa Page, Peter Strzok, and Susan Rice.
The GOP continue to push a Biden-Ukraine conspiracy, but last week Ukrainian prosecutors announced they found no evidence of wrongdoing on the part of Hunter Biden.
Former Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein testified before the Senate Judiciary Cmte. last week about the origins of the Russia probe… The hearing was not newsworthy, with Rosenstein refusing to be pinned down on anything. “He both meekly defended the investigation and meekly defended the president’s conduct with respect to the investigation—and, in order to do the latter, he, like Barr, overread the degree to which the investigation exonerated the president.”

The courts

D.C. Circuit sets a hearing on Michael Flynn's petition to force the district judge on his case to grant DOJ's motion to dismiss the prosecution for June 12.
  • The Justice Department is pressing forward with its criminal case against a former business partner of Michael Flynn, Bijan Rafiekian. The filing makes several mentions of Flynn’s integral role in the work that led to the two foreign-agent-related felony charges against Rafiekian and maintains the government’s position that Flynn was a co-conspirator in his business partner’s crimes — a curious stance as the government seeks to drop the criminal case it brought against Flynn more than two years ago.
The D.C. Court of Appeals affirmed that the White House unlawfully suspended the press credentials of Playboy Magazine reporter Brian Karem… The three-judge panel ruled that the suspension violated Karem’s constitutional rights because the White House had no written rules or advance notice about what would constitute unprofessional behavior that could temporarily cost him his press pass.
The DOJ has formally asked the Supreme Court to overturn a lower court decision granting House Democrats access to redacted grand jury materials from Mueller’s investigation…
The Trump administration has asked the Supreme Court to make it legal to ban same-sex couples from adopting… The DOJ argued that adoption agencies should be allowed to turn away same-sex couples “because it adheres to the belief that marriage is the union of a man and a woman”. Throughout the brief, the department argues that religious freedom must be protected above all else.
A former staffer on Trump's 2016 campaign has filed a new challenge against Trump's use of nondisclosure agreements, asking a New York court to rule in a lawsuit that the agreements drawn up by the campaign are "null, void and unenforceable."
Judge in Jeffrey Epstein grand jury case has ties to those with a stake in outcome… Krista Marx, the Palm Beach chief judge who also heads a panel that polices judicial conduct, has potential conflicts of interest involving three prominent players embroiled in the Epstein sex-trafficking saga: a state attorney, a sheriff, and a former state attorney.

Voting and elections

Both Trump and his press secretary committed voter fraud using residential addresses on their registrations that were not their residences. Kayleigh McEnany cast Florida ballots in 2018 using her parents’ address in Tampa, even though she lived in Washington, D.C., and held a New Jersey driver’s license. Trump cast a Florida ballot this year using a business address in Palm Beach, where he had promised the town government he would not live.
Derek Chauvin, the Minneapolis ex-cop accused of killing George Floyd, allegedly voted illegally in two Florida elections. “While living in Minnesota, working there, paying taxes there, Derek Chauvin cannot claim residency in Orange County,” a Florida candidate for election supervisor writes.
Texas appeals court blocked a lower court ruling that would have allowed people to mail in their ballots to avoid being exposed to the coronavirus. This won’t be the last word in the matter - the courts have been going back and forth on the matter for the past two months.
A judge ruled that Tennessee must give all of its registered voters the option to cast ballots by mail during the coronavirus pandemic. The ruling is likely to be appealed.
The Wisconsin Supreme Court will try to decide whether to remove 129,000 voters from the rolls… The justices declined last Monday to immediately take voters off the rolls and may not rule on the case before the election.
Good read: Stacey Abrams op-ed: I Know Voting Feels Inadequate Right Now. “Voting will not save us from harm, but silence will surely damn us all.”

Coronavirus

America is still experiencing a minimum of 5,000 confirmed deaths from the coronavirus per week, with many states experiencing spikes in cases over the past few days. Charts,
  • For example, Florida has had the most new cases in the last 4 days of any 4 days in the whole outbreak (and that’s not taking into account that the state is undercounting). Texas has seen the most new cases of any 5 days during the outbreak, as has Arizona. Utah, California, Arkansas, North Carolina, South Carolina, and Tennessee also have increasing cases. NYT and JHU.
ICUs across the country are pretty full. In 12 states, plus DC, more than 70% of beds in ICUs are occupied. CDC. Rising ICU bed use “a big red flag.”
Amid a shortage of swabs for COVID tests, the factory Trump visited in Maine will have to throw out all swabs produced during the president’s visit, likely due to Trump and associates refusing to wear face masks. Nearly a third of Maine nursing homes reported last month they had no nasal swabs to collect specimens.
Local health officials relied on the CDC to track Americans returning from China in February, but the data was flawed. “Just let them go,” CDC told local officials frustrated by the inability to track potential early spreaders.
The US has failed to spend more than 75 percent of the American humanitarian aid that Congress provided three months ago to help overseas victims of the virus. “Little to no humanitarian assistance has reached those on the front lines of this crisis in the world’s most fragile context,” executives at 27 relief organizations wrote to the aid agency’s acting administrator, John Barsa, in a letter dated Thursday.
How a St. Petersburg company with no history in medical supplies won a $10 million coronavirus contract. The Trump administration handed out large contracts without much vetting. As a result, a Florida-based company was granted a contract in the first week of its existence.
A section of the House’s coronavirus relief bill championed by Virginia Dem Gerry Connolly contains billions for defense contractors. The provision would cover executive compensation and other perks for defense and intel contractors. The legislation’s wording mirrors what an industry group proposed.
Former Rep. Dana Rohrabacher (R-CA) has booked his first lobbying client, a company promising a COVID-19 cure and led by a California businessman who’s been collaborating with Rudy Giuliani on a documentary on Joe Biden and Ukraine.

Miscellaneous

Trump ordered nearly 10,000 US troops to leave Germany. The move is the latest twist in relations between Berlin and Washington, which have often been strained during Trump’s presidency.
In another move that is sure to make Putin happy, Trump pressed to invite Russia to this year’s G7 summit. Trump and Putin spoke by phone last Monday and reportedly discussed the meeting. Other members of G7 have spoken out against the idea.
  • Reminder: Last month, Trump announced the US is withdrawing from the Open Skies treaty, another move that allows Russia more freedom to operate as a rogue power.
A federal judge ruled against the Interior Dept. in its attempt to disestablish the reservation land of the Mashpee Wampanoag Tribe… “The DC District Court righted what would have been a terrible and historic injustice by finding that the Department of the Interior broke the law in attempting to take our land out of trust,” said Mashpee Wampanoag Tribal Chairman, Cedric Cromwell.
A Twitter Account That Copies Trump's Tweets Word For Word Got Suspended Within 3 Days. Does Twitter have special rules for President Trump? Yes, and this account just proved it.
Civil rights leaders say they’re ‘disappointed and stunned’ after call with Facebook’s Zuckerberg and Sandberg… Zuckerberg gave “incomprehensible explanations” for not taking action against President Trump’s “looting ... shooting” post.
Environmental news:
  • Trump rule changes will allow Alaskan hunters to kill bear cubs, wolf pups in their dens.
  • The Trump administration moved forward Friday with plans to scale back a century-old law protecting most American wild bird species despite warnings that billions of birds could die as a result.
  • President Trump vowed Friday to open the nation’s only national monument in the Atlantic Ocean to commercial fishing. He signed a proclamation declaring the opening after attending a roundtable discussion with commercial fishermen in Bangor, Maine.
  • Trump signed an executive order instructing agencies to waive long-standing environmental laws to speed up federal approval for new mines, highways, pipelines and other projects given the current economic “emergency.” Critics say the move will disproportionately impact communities of color.
Immigration news:
  • Report finds ICE detention centre is using a disinfectant over 50 times a day that causes bleeding and pain
  • Homeland Security’s Inspector General Is Opening A Review Of The Department’s Treatment Of Pregnant Detainees. The announcement comes following BuzzFeed News’ report of a woman giving birth in a detention center near San Diego.
  • ICE special agents detain Floyd protester in NYC. "The fact that he's a man of Puerto Rican descent is really concerning because it raises questions about racial profiling," said Terry Lawson, of the Immigrant Defense Project.
  • The Trump Administration Said It Didn’t Change Policy To Deny Housing Loans To DACA Recipients. Emails Show Otherwise. New documents show that the Trump administration moved to block young undocumented immigrants from federal housing loans in 2018.
  • People are sawing through and climbing over Trump’s border wall. Now contractors are being asked for ideas to make it less vulnerable.
  • Supreme Court rules immigrants who fear torture can appeal deportations in court
  • Dozens Of Immigrant Families Who Were Separated At The Border Likely Shouldn't Have Been, An Internal Report Found
submitted by rusticgorilla to Keep_Track [link] [comments]


2020.04.15 01:29 Thrustmaster6_9 22M [Friendship] [Relationship] I've made a friend overseas and I want to make more!!!

Hey bros and Bras My name is JoseLuis Diaz
Soooo... My other friend is from the Netherlands. Shes super nice and I love learning about herself and about her country! Made me think about making more friends overseas because it's awesome to learn new stuff! (And also this quarantine is killing me inside)
ANYWAYYYY... Heres a little about me.
. I love dark humor. It just fuckin tickles me inside... no homo
. I love all different kinds of music. From Gangster Rap to Country and from Metal to K - Pop/Disco
. I play video games ALL the time (I'm currently playing Metal Gear Solid V again since I'm bored)
. I'm totally into cars. I just bought my dream car 2 years ago and I'm madly in love with it.
. I'm Hispanic af but I'd love to be able to live overseas one day (America kinda sucks)
. Fun Facts about me
  1. I've been to New York, Nashville Tennessee, San Diego California, Detroit Michigan, and Michoacan Mexico. I love all of these places and want to go to each of them again
    1. Although I may look like a fuck boi I'm a massive nerd. My Friends and I love going to Cons every year. 2 years ago we went as the 4 Teletubbies.
    2. I've been a single dude for a little over a year and I've only ever dated 1 girl. (Omg Shockerrrrr 😮)
    3. I'm learning to play electric guitar. The first song I've ever learned was the outro to Spongebob and Lon Lon Ranch from Ocarina of Time. The goal is to learn how to play Heart Boner by Ninja Sex Party. I'm going to play it for the next love in my life! https://youtu.be/TS_OWTKCUIM
    4. I have 1 tattoo and am planning to get more!
Ok guys hit me up anytime!!! 😁
submitted by Thrustmaster6_9 to MeetPeople [link] [comments]


2018.08.02 05:49 extriniti Why are they hiding 'Nephilim' (Giants) described in the Bible & Book of Enoch?

Why are they hiding 'Nephilim' (Giants) described in the Bible & Book of Enoch?
Nephilim (Giants)

Why is the Nephilim (Giants) hidden from modern day archaeology & history?

The Nephilim /ˈnɛfɪˌlɪm/ (Hebrew: נְפִילִים‬, nefilim) were the offspring of the "sons of God" and the "daughters of men" before the Deluge, according to Genesis 6:1–4.

When people began to multiply on the face of the ground, and daughters were born to them, the sons of God saw that they were fair; and they took wives for themselves of all that they chose. Then the Lord said, “My spirit shall not abide in mortals forever, for they are flesh; their days shall be one hundred twenty years.” The Nephilim were on the earth in those days—and also afterward—when the sons of God went in to the daughters of humans, who bore children to them. These were the heroes that were of old, warriors of renown.
— Genesis 6:1–4, New Revised Standard Version
The story of the Nephilim is further elaborated in the Book of Enoch. The Greek, Aramaic, and main Ge'ez manuscripts of 1 Enoch and Jubilees obtained in the 19th century and held in the British Museum and Vatican Library, connect the origin of the Nephilim with the fallen angels, and in particular with the egrḗgoroi (watchers). Samyaza, an angel of high rank, is described as leading a rebel sect of angels in a descent to earth to have sexual intercourse with human females:
And it came to pass when the children of men had multiplied that in those days were born unto them beautiful and comely daughters. And the angels, the children of the heaven, saw and lusted after them, and said to one another: "Come, let us choose us wives from among the children of men and beget us children." And Semjaza, who was their leader, said unto them: "I fear ye will not indeed agree to do this deed, and I alone shall have to pay the penalty of a great sin." And they all answered him and said: "Let us all swear an oath, and all bind ourselves by mutual imprecations not to abandon this plan but to do this thing." Then sware they all together and bound themselves by mutual imprecations upon it. And they were in all two hundred; who descended in the days of Jared on the summit of Mount Hermon, and they called it Mount Hermon, because they had sworn and bound themselves by mutual imprecations upon it ...
In this tradition, the children of the Nephilim are called the Elioud, who are considered a separate race from the Nephilim, but they share the fate of the Nephilim.
Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nephilim

The Book of Giants

The Book of Giants is an apocryphal Jewish book which expands a narrative in the Hebrew Bible. Its discovery at Qumran dates the text's creation to before the 2nd century BC.
The Book of Giants is an antediluvian (pre-flood) narrative that was received primarily in Manichaean literature and known at Turpan. However, the earliest known traditions for the book originate in Aramaic copies of a Book of Giants in the Dead Sea Scrolls. Furthermore, references are found in: Genesis 6:1-4, 1 Enoch, and visions in Daniel 7:9-14. This book tells of the background and fate of these Nephilim in the flood.
The Book of Giants consists of a group of Aramaic fragments. Because of the fragmentation of the Book of Giants, it is difficult to know the order of the content. This work is related to the 1 Enoch analogue, which tells a story of the giants that is far more elaborate. Further, the Qumran Book of Giants bore resemblance to the Manichaean Book of Giants that followed after it.
The Book of Giants is an expansive narrative of the biblical story of the birth of giants in Genesis 6.1-4. In this story, the giants came into being when the sons of God had sexual intercourse with mortal women who birthed a hybrid race of giants. These giants partook in destructive and immoral actions, which devastated humanity. When Enoch heard of this, he was distressed and asked God to bring judgement to the giants. In his mercy, God chose to give the giants a chance to repent by transmitting dreams to two giants named Ohyah and Hahyah who relayed the dreams to an assembly of giants. The giants were perplexed with the dreams, so they sent a giant named Mahaway to Enoch’s abode. Enoch interceded on their behalf and gave tablets to the giants with the meaning of the dreams and God’s future judgement. When the giants heard this, many chose to act in defiance to God. While the Qumran fragments were incomplete at this point, the Manichaean fragments tell of the hosts of God subduing the race of giants through battle.
Most of the content in the Book of Giants is derived out of 1 Enoch 7:3-6 . This passage sheds light on the characterizing features of the Giants. It reveals that the Giants were born of the sons of god and daughters of man. The giants began to devour the works of men and went on to kill and consume them. They also sinned against the birds and beast of the sky, creeping things and the fish of the sea. It also mentions that the giants devoured the flesh of one another and they drank the blood. This act of drinking blood would have horrified the people. There is further evidence of this in Leviticus 17:10-16. In this passage there are strict rules regarding the blood of the animal. In verse 10 and 11, it says, “I will set my face against any Israelite or any foreigner residing among them who eats blood and I will cut them off from the people. For the life of the creature is in the blood.”
The text relates how some giants, named Ohya, Hahya and Mahway, sons of the fallen angels, have some dreams that foresee the biblical Flood. A brief mention of one of these giants, "Ohya", is found in the Babylonian Talmud (Nidah, Ch 9), where it is said "סיחון ועוג אחי הוו דאמר מר סיחון ועוג בני אחיה בר שמחזאי הוו" ("Sihon and Og [from the Book of Numbers] were brothers, as they were the sons of Ohia the son of Samhazai [one of the leaders of the fallen angels in the Book of Enoch])". The version found at Qumran also describes the Sumerian hero Gilgamesh and the monster Humbaba.
Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Book_of_Giants

ANNUNAKI

In his 1976 book The Twelfth Planet, Russian-American author Zecharia Sitchin claimed that the Anunnaki were actually a race of extraterrestrial beings from the undiscovered planet Nibiru, who came to Earth around 500,000 years ago in order to mine gold. According to Sitchin, the Anunnaki genetically engineered homo erectus to create modern humans to work as their slaves. Sitchin claimed that the Anunnaki were forced to leave Earth when Antarctic glaciers melted, causing the Flood of Noah, which also destroyed the Anunnaki's bases on Earth. These had to be rebuilt and the Nephilim, needing more humans to help in this massive effort, taught them agriculture. Ronald H. Fritze writes that, according to Sitchin, "the Annunaki built the pyramids and all the other monumental structures from around the world that ancient astronaut theorists consider so impossible to build without highly advanced technologies." Sitchin also claimed that the Anunnaki had left behind human-alien hybrids, some of whom may still be alive today, unaware of their alien ancestry. Sitchin expanded on this mythology in later works, including The Stairway to Heaven (1980) and The Wars of Gods and Men (1985). In The End of Days: Armageddon and the Prophecy of the Return (2007), Sitchin predicted that the Anunnaki would return to earth...
Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anunnaki

GIGANTISM

Is a condition characterized by excessive growth and height significantly above average. In humans, this condition is caused by over-production of growth hormone in childhood resulting in people between 7 feet (2.13 m) and 9 feet (2.72 m) in height.
It is a rare disorder resulting from increased levels of growth hormone before the fusion of the growth plate which usually occurs at some point soon after puberty. This increase is most often due to abnormal tumor growths on the pituitary gland. Gigantism should not be confused with acromegaly, the adult form of the disorder, characterized by somatic enlargement specifically in the extremities and face.
The San Diego Giant

Modern Day Nephilim Conspiracy Theories

  1. Giant Skeletons unearthed from Ancient Burial Mounds across America
  2. Smithsonian admits to destruction of thousands of giant human skeletons in early 1900's
  3. U.S. Soldiers Claim To Have Shot & Killed A 12-15 Feet Giant In Afghanistan (The Kandahar Giant)
  4. Giant Skeleton Uncovered in Saudi Arabia
  5. Graveyard of “Giants” Found in China
  6. Giant Human Skulls With Horns Discovered
  7. Gigantic Skeleton Found In Australia
  8. Giant Human Skeleton unearthed in Bulgaria
  9. Giant skeleton found in Iranian archaeological dig
  10. Giant skeletons of found in Greece
  11. 38 CM long FINGER found in EGYPT
  12. Skeleton of 3 metre tall giant alien found on Mars
  13. Elongated Skulls found
  14. 13 Crystal Skulls found
  15. Fallen Angels imprisoned in Antartica

The Kandahar Giant

Rather than the old skeletons, I'm more interested in 'The Kandahar Giant' conspiracy theory because it's about U.S. soldiers fighting & taking a 12' - 15' fair skinned, red haired giant, with 6 fingers & 6 toes, in Afghanistan.
  • Soldiers at the base began to hear rumors of a man being killed that was 3 times the height of an ordinary human. Paranormal researcher L.A. Marzulli corroborated the account with two soldiers, and Afghan locals told stories of cannibalistic giants living in nearby caves.
  • George Noory interviewed the helicopter pilot that transported the “Kandahar Giant” on Coast to Coast radio. The pilot said it was a dead guy “about 9 by 12 feet… laying in a fetal position on the pallet. He was around an 1100 pound guy.” The pilot went on to corroborate that the giant was fair-skinned, red-haired, and had extra digits on his hands and feet.
In 2002 a U. S. patrol had gone missing in a very remote area of Afghanistan. Another patrol was dispatched on a search and rescue mission, and one soldier on that patrol described what he saw after coming around the side of a mountain:
"As we bent around this corner you could see the opening of the cave. And then I see a lot of rocks which is another oddity. And then bone matter. I’m not close enough to identify what kind of bones but I did see what I knew to be a piece of our communications equipment. So instantly we’re thinking ‘ambush,’ maybe animal, you know, could be anything. There was enough room in front of the cave, but it had a sheer drop-off; but there was enough room that we got into a decent dispersal in case of ambush."
Not long after they had gotten into that dispersal formation, they saw something emerge from the cave that, despite their preparedness, caught them fully off guard.
"It was a man at least 12 to 15 feet in height. This is a MONSTER. Red beard, with his hair–was longish, past his shoulders, a scarlet red. And Dan runs at him and starts shooting, which broke all of us into the reality–because it was surreal."
"While Dan is moving at him, another bro of mine is laying down fire and I start firing. He skewers Dan–he’s now got him on this ‘pike.’ It went through him. He’s got him and he’s coming after more."
Eventually, the giant was killed. Dan had been killed as well. And the patrol unit was soon visited by a helicopter that dropped some cargo netting. They were told they had to bundle up the giant in the netting, and soon after they were done, a larger helicopter came by, dropped a hook, and the giant was carried off.
The soldier confirmed that the red-haired, fair-skinned giant had six fingers on each hand and six toes on each foot. After they had submitted their after-action report, the soldier recounts that they were told by their top brass to re-write it in a particular fashion, presumably to remove any mention of a giant being.
Although not an eyewitness, another special ops soldier in Afghanistan provides the following corroborating testimony:
"We would come back to the base and started hearing this rumor about a unit that killed this, what they started calling this really tall person. At first I didn’t think anything of it, then come to find out that the person they killed was actually three times the size of a man, had extra digits on their hands, and extra digits on their feet, and had red hair, and a special unit had come in and wanted this target."
"Well we’d heard that they killed this thing inside a cave, or the mouth of a cave, and there was common knowledge among the military to hear this. When you first hear, you’re thinking like, this has got to be a joke. This has got to be a hoax. Then after things go down a certain way, and you keep hearing it, you start to realize it’s not a joke."
"They kept telling us to keep our weapons high, which normally means it’s two to the chest, one to the head, but they kept telling us to put it towards a man’s head, and put it higher. So we would question, why would they want us to shoot higher than a man’s head?"
Source: https://www.collective-evolution.com/2018/06/22/u-s-soldier-claims-to-have-shot-killed-a-12-foot-giant-in-afghanistan
Then there's conspiracy theories about very tall super soldiers. Are they or have they weaponized giants for war?
If they found the 'Fallen Angels' in Antarctica, they may want to control them, use them, or even weaponize them too IMO.
Please let me know of any other modern day Nephilim Conspiracy Theories to add to the list.
Are these just Conspiracy Theories or are they reality? If they're reality, why is it being covered up -- especially when it would prove the existence of GOD or even extra-terrestrials IMO.
submitted by extriniti to conspiracy [link] [comments]


2018.06.25 22:02 lazerturkey My only best friend is pressuring me to hang out with my bully and if i dont i have to stay at home while they go out and have fun on the weekends. (Really long story)

TLDR: I thought my Highschool bully matured and changed by acting really nice to me the past couple of years. He's always has been sociopathic liar and we just accept that about him but recently its been affecting me by lieing and ditching me. Our other best friend tells me i need to forgive him and just deal with the fact that he will always lie to me. If i dont apologize to my bully my Best friend will continue to hang out with my bully and go to parties on the weekends while im stuck in my room at home. Even though i offered to apologize and forgive my bully so i can have a social life again, my best friend continues to leave me at home on the weekends while hanging out with my bully and tells me im not aloud to go to the parties.
This is going to be a long one so im sorry for my grammar and spelling. I was made fun of and beat up alot in highschool (have a hormone deficiency) but my biggest bully was one that never laid a hand on me and i called him my best friend. My friend SAM (everyone i name will be a made up name) had PE with me and didnt have much friends, so one time he walked with me at lunch and i introduced him to my friends. Even though i had a friend group i still had people within that group that messed with me and bullied me, its just something i had to deal with because everyone made fun of me and bullied me, this group of friends just did it the least. Troy and Cory allways messed with me in this group of friends, and made practicaly every day a living hell. Always singling me out, making me do stupid things and hitting me. They never did this to anyone else, just me. SAM never did anything to stop them, witch i was fine with, not his problem, but he started becoming good friends with Troy and Corey. I tried distancing myself from Sam but everytime i did he always claimed i was his best friend. He always laughed when Troy and Corey fucked with me but when it was just me and Sam it truley felt like i was his best friend. Sam started to become more and more mean. He started telling girls that i had crushes on that i had wet dreams of them, (i actually did tell him that one time, never had a wet dream at the time but my friends were talking about having them and i wanted to sound cool and normal that i had one of a girl i liked? lol idk?) but he did that with a handful of girls and it was just so embaressing even though i only said it once. He told me one day to through a pencil at a friend of his when he walked by and it was a game they played and he will laugh. So i through a pencil at the kid and he comes up to me yelling at me, grabs me by the shirt, lifts me up against the tree and starts screaming at me threatening to be me up. I look to my left and all my friends jaws were dropped and didnt know what to do and Sam was laughing at me. The guy put me down and started laughing too. They said it was a joke that they planned out and they wanted to see my face when all my friends who claim to defend me, would do nothing when something actually happened. Sam started lieing to me saying nothing was happening on the weekends, and while id stay home he'd go out and hang out with Troy and Corey. Everytime i asked him why arent we friends anymore, he would say WE ARE! Lets hang out this weekend. Then proceed to tell me nothings going on when i text him friday night, then the monday hear everyone talk about all the stuff they did together during the weekend, then he will give me excuses like everything happened so fast or he had no gas money (his dad bought him a mustang gt at 16, payed for gas, and Sam to this day is 26 years old, and hasnt worked more then 3 months at a paying job in his life.). Anyways i ended up having to switch schools due to grades. Sam Still always texted me asking to hang out and i always said yes but most of the times he would just flake on me. And the few times that he actually came and picked me up, he would make me do stupid things like ding dong ditch houses or take off my clothes, get infront of the cars head lights on a busy street, and do exercise moves or else he wouldnt give me a ride home. I made it very clear i was always uncomfortable with these things , but he still made me do it when im basicly almost in tears and then when its over say he would actually give me a ride home and was joking because im his best friend. And i was always the one being forced to do things not him, Troy, or Cory. Anyways after i graduated i moved to san diego with my dad because there was nothing Here for me. Lived there for about 3 years and went to school out there. During this time i didnt really make any friends like i thought i would and stayed at home during the weekends. Sam always texted me asking why i left and i should come back so we can hang out more and he misses me and i always texted back because i never had any other friends to talk to. He would always talk about how i should come back to our hometown and get a place with him and split the bills and be adults and how fun it would be. My dad's alchoholism started getting to a point where i wasnt comfortable living there anymore and my sister kept saying i need to move out and get a place on my own and come back to our hometown so she can be next to me and help me out when i need it. I started taking Sam up on that offer of getting a place together and before i moved back i was driving to my home town on the weekends to hang out. He would actually hang out with me and wasnt friends with Troy and Cory anymore. My sister told me to live with her for a few months so i can get a job and set myself up in my hometown. So i did that and started hanging out with Sam litterally every weekend. Sam was really buff (unfortunatley really attractive too no homo) and started taking me to the gym every day. He would train me and give me protien powder, never charged me and hang out all the time, its like he was more mature and different. Our other friend Fred was hanging out with us on the weekends too(Fred was always really nice to me in highschool but he also was girl crazy and MIA). The three of us started hanging out all the time and i finnally felt like a normal kid with a social life even though i was 23. Sam was living with his girlfriend at a condo her parents owned. We had plans to live together soon so i threw out the idea that what if i stayed in the spare room and payed you rent. His girl friend wasnt comfortable with that and honestly i threw it out there as a joke but if they said yes that would be cool too. Anyways my sister wanted me out pretty quickly and gave me like 1 day to look for a place. I found a place that was pretty pricey compared to what was arround here but the guy was cool (i was working minimum wage so it was just a room). So i was going to school, working, and hanging out with my friends. Well while we were going to the gym, Sam kept bringing up why i didnt talk to him and his girlfriend more about living with them. He would keep saying that i was over paying and if i lived with them it would only be like $250 a month. I kept telling him no because i was already settled in this new place but everyday he would come at me with the idea of moving in with them. His girlfriend usually goes to the gym with us too but during these conversations she wouldnt be there. I didnt want to because it made me feel like i was a burden and they had to help me out but he said it in a way as if i was doing them a favor with the extra money and made me more comfortable with the idea. So i told him id talk to my land lord about it. My land lord was cool with it, just give him a 30 day notice, went back to Sam, he said do it, then told my land lord okay lets to it. Couple weeks later i told him i was going to start packing my things up and he was acting excited. Then he hit me with "BTW Did you talk to my girlfriend about it?" Aparently she had no idea this was happening. I remember mentioning things about moving in to Sam infront of her but never direclty because i never really had a one on one conversation with her before, she just literaly was my friends girlfriend. So he says "Ok ill call her and tell her" I tried to say no fuck it because now i got really uncomfortable that he was going to throw months of planning in her face when she didnt know what was going on (her parents owned the place). I dont get how you can live with a girlfriend and never mention you were planning something like this to her, thats why i never had a serious converstaion with her about it, i assumed Sam was telling her what was going on. She called me told me her parents werent comfortable with it and i said its cool im fine, im sorry. Luckily my landlord didnt find somone to replace me with so i was good to just stay. Sam is a liar, like a really bad liar. I have known him for over a Decade and still dont really know who he is. He constantly cheats on every woman he dates, even they're best friends. He will talk to people about how he pays all his bills and is independant, but his dad pays for his rent, cars, insurance, phone bills, utitlites, gym memberships, food, gas, school, road/out of country trips, and play money. He always has to mention about even though his dad has a lot of money, he never gives him any of it. Anyways, after that awkward situation me, Sam, and Fred kept hanging out for a few years. Even though Sam wasnt a great person, in a wierd way niether was i because i needed to use him to hang out on the weekends and get out of my room. Me and Fred started becoming closer friends. We started hanging out more and more and i started becoming way better frieds with him then Sam. He got me a job at a school while i go to school, i work with his mom and im practicaly part of his family now. Sam starts going to crossfit and makes new friends. He starts inviting us to theyre parties and whenever they go out to eat. I start becoming better friends with Fred and Sam is making new friends and we still hang out mostly every weekend. Usually when we hang out, we play PC games. Me and Fred are PC gamers and Sam plays xbox. We started bringin over our computers to Sam's and Fred would alwasy bring a extra one for Sam. Fred bought a second really good gaming PC for a server but didnt have room for it in his house so he told Sam use it until you can afford your own and ill take it back when i move out and get my own place. Sam never saved up for his own. Infact the two computers he used for him and his girlfriend Fred gave and lent to them. It was cool but it started to get wierd when they would go on trips, buy $1500 mac laptops for school and never actually buy theyre own. They both also dont work. Sam has graduated with a Masters and still refuses to at least Substitute teach (He wants to be a teacher) witch is the easiest job in the world(subing, not teaching lol). Fred eventually moves out and tells Sam he needs his computer back soon. Sam responds by gettting really sad and saying i guess we cant play games anymore. Fred feels uncomfortable taking it back after that and keeps putting it off getting it back. I try to keep telling Fred that Sam can literally can use a APP to subistitute teach any day he wants at his own leisure and work 5 days and get his own, just take it back. While this is going on Sam starts ditching me again. Fred has a daughter and shes old enough to come to his house every other weekend so every other weekend me and Sam would hang out, just the two of us or with his crossfit friends. Fred was more mad about this then me, and i just tell him im use to it because he alwasy did this in highschool. Fred starts catching Sam hanging out with friends when he told me he was staying in that night. Fred always has my back and wants to make sure im doing stuff on the weekends even when he has his daughter. We havnt talked to Sam about it at this point so we were silently being sketched out by him getting back to his old ways. We see Sam maybe after a couple of months of not talking and Fred finnaly gets him to give him back is computer. Sam starts talking about how he never sees us anymore and then says hes been hannging out with his crossfit friends every weekend and Fred calls him out about how i have been asking to hang out those weekends and told me he was doing nothing. Sam quickly changed the subject and avoided any kind of apology. After all this has happeneded i started getting anoyed because even though it wasnt as bad as high school, it was opening up wounds. Fred still wants to be friends with Sam so we keep trying to hang out with him. Fred finally catches Sam lieing and ditching him and now hes really pissed. Fred thinks that now hes caught Sam so many times that he wont do it anymore and i keep trying to tell him lets just not hang out with him anymore because of this and all the shit he did to me before i'm going blow up, try and hit him and get my ass beat. Anyways we are in some wierd limbo where we are avoiding him, Sam keeps trying to spologize to Fred muliple times and hang out, Sam Apologized to me once over text. But last night i drove by Sam's house and theyre was a big party and Fred went there without saying anything. I dont care if Fred has other friends, he hangs out with other friends all the time i couldnt give a shit, but the fact that hes hanging out with this guy but telling me hes not is just back stabbing for some reason. Although this is still my fault because i told Fred i cant hang out with someone whos done such terrible things to me, if you want to then go ahead. It was a moment where i wanted him to see how terrible Sam makes me feel and was hoping he would think to himself "Wow Sams terrible to my best friend i probably should hang out with him too". I know at this point im acting like a drama queen but I'm literally the most quiet / non emotional friend of our group so i feel like i deserve this one moment when they have all had thousands. Freds a really good person to have in my life and if there was one best friend i could have for the rest of it, it would be him. But i just absolutley refuse to hang out with Sam anymore so they hang out with eathother behind my back and just being really shady about it. Fred has a girlfriend who goes to Sam's crossfit gym and sees them all the time. Just last week Sam's girlfriend said the reason why they lie to me and not hang out with me is because im socially awkward. Witch is wierd because its even more awkward when i have to hang out with them and sometimes Sam is hanging out with her and sometimes hes hanging out with a girl hes fucking behind her back. Any ways if you were bored enough to read this is Fred really worth it to still hang out with even though sometimes ill be stuck in my room bored on the weekends while he goes out partying with Sam?
Update: Fred went to a big crossfit party with his girlfriend and with Sam and his girlfriend and they told me i wasnt aloud to go because i dont know anyone from the gym to get in, so it was pretty depressing sitting in my room on a saterday night while they all went out and had fun. I feel like this is bullshit because when Sam was ditching both of us to go to these parties, he would say Fred's girlfriend could get both me and Fred in. But now that Fred is going all of the sudden his girlfriend can only get just him in. Fred keeps telling me to just say sorry to Sam for not accepting his one text apology and then i can hang out with them again. I said i would say sorry before this party happened yet im still being left out.
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2015.04.02 23:14 tabledresser [Table] IAmA: I’m Harry Lloyd (the Rightful King of the Andals and the First Men) from Game of Thrones and The Theory of Everything. AMA!

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Date: 2015-04-02
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Granted you have (I assume) 31 other great-great-great grandparents aside from Charles Dickens including Dickens' mistreated wife Catherine, but still wondering do you have a favourite story or favourite character from his work? From Dickens' work?
I love the story that Alfred Jingle tells in PICKWICK PAPERS, about a woman eating a sandwich, sitting on top of a coach, who goes under a bridge and when she comes out the other side, there's a... sandwich but no mouth to put it in.
"Terrible place – dangerous work – other day – five children – mother – tall lady, eating sandwiches – forgot the arch – crash – knock – children look round – mother's head off – sandwich in her hand – no mouth to put it in – head of family off – shocking, shocking. Looking at Whitehall Sir, – fine place – little window – somebody else's head off there, eh, Sir? – he didn't keep a sharp look-out either – eh, sir, eh?"
No homo but your hair from Theory of Everything looks sooo good. How'd you cut or style it? That is ridiculous!
That my - hahaha- Harry's look in "Supreme Tweeter" was a combination of a grown-out Medieval bob that I had from WOLF HALL, and a scraggly beard that i was growing for "Notes from Underground." I don't think I ever looked more stupid. And because of pickup days, I had to look like that for months.
For THEORY OF EVERYTHING? Oh, cancel that.
Luckily, they had a lot to work with, 'cuz my hair was pretty long. It was a very pain-free makeup process. I can't even remember if we used products. I felt like one of the Monkees.
What kind of movie you are shooting prefer? Horrors or romantic or drama...? I would love to shoot a horror movie. It's quite often that - yeah - the different moods of different films vary so much depending on the project, and the people in charge, and the particular day... the one thing that the best shoots all have in common is when you know that everyone really believes in whatever they're shooting. Be it comedy, or fantasy, or drama - there's a different feel when everyone loves the script.
What was one of your most memorable experiences on set? Pfffbbbt.
Something very funny happened a few days into the "Supreme Tweeter" shoot actually, when I was stealing the bike off the lady in the street, a real pedestrian rushed up, grabbed the handlebars, and shouted in my face "STOP THERE! YOU DO NOT DO THAT!"
The whole crew ran to try and explain that we were filming a scene. It was very funny. But we were also very proud of that righteous citizen.
What was it about Notes From The Underground that inspired you to adapt it to the stage? Did you enjoy the writing process? I did.
Ehm - reading the book, I'd read the book that year. And was put on the spot by the director to find a one-man show. And as soon as I mentioned this book - snaps fingers - he told me to write it straightaway.
Reading it - I'd never read anything else like it. And the writing process was SUCH a whirlwind.
I was still - to this day- not quite sure what we did or how we did.
How much driving experience did you have before filming Big Significant Things? I had done not very much driving before BIG SIGNIFICANT THINGS. And I started productions by driving that car from the film from New York to Mississippi in two days. Which was WONDERFUL prep.
what quirky roadside attractions would you personally stop for on an American road trip? Eh - what roadside attractions would I visit? On the way, we saw brilliant things, like entire miniature model towns in someone's backyard, and... we saw a house in the shape of a shoe.
What was the best part of playing your role in GOT? And does Jason Momoa scare you as much outside the show as in it? Jason Momoa is only scary because he doesn't know his own strength.
So basically, he is the spirit of Tigger, in the body of a WWF giant.
So yeah, he's scary because he'll see you and hug you and literally crack one of your ribs. But he's a fun, playful dude.
The best bit of playing that role - I think just some of those juicy lines were pretty wonderful to say.
What was your most difficult role and why? I think the one I just did. I just did a one-man play adapted from "Notes from Underground" which is a book by Dostoyevsky about a guy who had locked himself away from the world for 10 years, and spoke to the audience for an hour and ten minutes, which I did twice a night for a month last year.
Yeah. That was pretty brutal, haha! But worthwhile.
What was the hardest part of playing Viserys? The two hours of wig every morning.
They pinned my hair, they glued my hair, then they fitted like a 20 pound disposable latex bald cap, which was then glued, and then the edges burned, and THEN the wig put on, and then the wig glued on, and then the wig dressed, and THEN makeup.
Actually, I've got quite a cool picture.
Link to imgur.com
Loved you as Henry V in Supreme Tweeter. Have you actually ever played him? What would be your ultimate Shakespeare role to play? I've never played Henry V.
I played Rosalind in AS YOU LIKE IT at school. Which was pretty terrifying, playing a girl, who was pretending to be a man.
But that has been my favourite Shakespeare to date. Of course, I'd love to play some of the biggies, like Hamlet.
Although I feel "Notes from Underground" scratched that itch a little bit.
Hi Harry! What was it like to film "the golden crown" scene from Game of Thrones? I imagine it was really messy. It was pretty messy?
Mainly, freezing.
We were in a really cold Belfast set. And there was just... dust and gold paint everywhere. 'Cuz everyone else was in this big room, with fires, and I would always have to start the scene outside, so I'd have to go to my freezing little chair, off the main set, and then walk back in... but it was a great long day.
Hi Harry, how are you? I am very happy, thank you for this opportunity. It was a shock to see you on twitter :D It was difficult to realize the web series? Will there be a sequel? In real life it was really hard after Viserys ? Keeps you on twitter? I joined Twitter towards the end of last year. Which coincided with the development of "Supreme Tweeter." I always used to be terrified of it. It's really not so bad.
Let's see how the series is received.
Eh - no. Viceroys was... looks like he's having a miserable time. But I had a ball doing it - before, during, and after.
Do you like Viserys? I do, actually.
When I stopped reading the book, and seeing him through his sister's eyes, I realized what a difficult life this kid must've had. And understood that even though he was fairly extreme, he had a lot to be grumpy about.
Hi Harry! I love all your work, I recently hear you as Pollution for the Good Omens adaptation, I loved your performance there and would've love to hear more form you :D How was for you working on a radio adaptation? That was really fun.
And it's where I met the actor Andy Secombe, whom I cast in "Supreme Tweeter." Doing radio plays are often lovely long days sitting in the green room, chatting with other actors between scenes. The ones I've done have always felt very British, and part of a longstanding tradition I'm proud to be a part of.
I’m also curious as to what your thoughts on this growing trend in elucidating the daily struggles of a given performer for a broader audience means on the whole for the industry. Is it merely a means of exorcising demons or do you believe that the increased attention will perhaps change the industry for the better such that a more stable, ‘meaningful’ career can be had by more than a very select fortunate few? Even though it's a slightly uncomfortable topic. Especially when it's you, yourself.
lastly, would you and your collaborators consider crowdfunding if you felt demand for an extended Supreme Tweeter series were there? I think something like BIRDMAN did a masterful job in exploring that aspect of today's culture. And I think it can be handled very well. But can sometimes be used as a cheap trick.
Thanks and stay classy, San Diego. And no. I think it's very dangerous and almost impossible to ask an audience to feel sympathy for the struggles of an actor. Bearing in mind it's a job where you are playing make-believe. I don't think that toils and struggles of people in the entertainment industry need to be addressed any more than the toils and struggles of the rest of society.
We know you do snowboard, do you play other sports? Have often funny t shirts. You have many? Your favorite? And I do like to snowboard.
I broke my wrist boarding in the Alps, just over a year ago, days before starting rehearsals for "Notes from Underground," which is why the character in the London one had his arm in a sling.
Is Supreme Tweeter based on your own experiences as an actor ??? Ehm - only to the extent that I used to be quite wary of social media.
It was more based on the pressure actors feel to be their own brand managers online.
And rather than fully engage with it, I co-wrote a story about it.
Was there a lot of competition for Viserys role? How did the audition go? What was your reaction when you found out you got the part? I have no idea how... competitive it was. I had two quite straightforward meetings. I was very lucky to be cast early. I think because I happened to have blond hair at the time for a play I was doing. It was pretty blond, but not as blond as Viserys.
Why did you choose Kim Jong-un for Supreme tweeter? There's no offence by the way. I love your work! Hahahaha!
Ehm - we thought he had a bit in common with Viserys.
We were really interested in the way North Korea had become part of the media landscape. And felt that that had come to represent - it raised the stakes of a story about seeking celebrity.
Last updated: 2015-04-06 20:57 UTC
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2014.06.11 00:15 tabledresser [Table] IAmA: I am grillmaster & Barbecue High Priest Steven Raichlen. Ask me anything about the art of grilling!

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Date: 2014-06-10
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Charcoal chimneys — good idea? or not worth it? Totally a good idea, unless you love the delicious aroma of half-ignited lighter fluid.
As a manly person, I have no problem finding delicious meats to grill, however my friend, who is not at all manly, and is, in fact, a woman, wants non-meats to go on the grill as well. Pointing to the kebabs with peppers and onions between the meats is, I am told, 'not quite it'. Do you have suggestions for such an endeavor? Things which are 'not meat' and yet deserve to share grill space with actual meats? Does non-manly friend eat seafood? In this case I recommend a couple dozen grilled oysters and clams on the half shell. If not, we must resort to firm tofu, which we'll electrify with pureed chilies and fish sauce.
For tofu, do you just marinate the whole block and then throw it on? Or do you cut it up a bit? What I would do with tofu is I cut it in half through the short side to make 2 flat steaks (do not put in foil - remember grilling in foil is like having an intimate act with a protective membrane).
What mythological creature would be most difficult to grill? And how would you prepare it? I'd want to barbecue a griffin (mascot of Reed College). Wrapped in bacon and low and slow.
You're grilling a whole meal. Appetizer, side dish, entree, and dessert. What would be your top choices of food to grill in this situation? Great question!
Start with a huge platter of grilled vegetables. You can cook them the night before or that morning and they taste great at room temperature. Next, smoke a big hunk of animal protein (like a pork shoulder or a brisket). You need to let it rest for 2 hours before serving ANYWAY, so that gives you time for the last minute stuff. For an appetizer, serve grilled garlic bread hot off the fire as people come to gather around your grill. For dessert, take the grate off your Big Green Egg and use it to cook artisinal marshmallows sandwiched between homemade cookies to make "uptown smokes."
Hey Steven! I was recently told some of the key concepts behind brining (maple brine on pork chops holy geez). Can you please briefly enlighten us on a couple cool things in your mind regarding brining (mix amounts, favorite ingredients, fav recipes)? Okay, absolutely. So first, let's get the science out of the way: the brine relaxes tightly coiled protein molecules, which enables the absorption of liquid and tenderizes the meat. Optimum brine formula : 3/4 of a cup of seasalt to 1 gallon of water, equal parts of brown sugar and bourbon optional. Add cinnamon sticks and you've got a really good brine for chicken for pork. There's no need to brine beef unless you're making pastrami.
Separately, what are some foods that the greater public would consider to be non-grillable that you have found a place for over the fire? Nori seaweed (brushed with sesame oil and seasoned with salt and grilled over a hot fire) ice cream (which I had in Baku, AZ -- dipped hard frozen balls of vanilla ice cream first in beaten egg, then in shredded coconut, then grill on skewers over a raging hot fire, you could call it fire & ice - the egg sets with the coconut and forms a crust and the ice cream stays cold in the center and melts on the outside)
I own a gas and a charcoal grill. Would a pellet grill be a wise investment too? I'd rather see you buy an offset smoker or a water smoker.
Are you emphatic about making sure people distinguish between bbq and grilling? I always make sure people know of the difference, but I am comfortable using the world "barbecue" (as in, the Barbecue Bible, or Planet Barbecue) to refer to live fire cooking.
How can food consumption be gendered? Let's just say that I've noticed a few gender differences. Men tend to cook dishes, women tend to cook meals. Men tend to like big flavors (almost to a fault - they easily overdo it). Men like to brag about their cooking, women just do it. I'd go on but the gender police are taking me away. More dangerous opinions are contained in Man Made Meals.
Also, the tinted glasses. I am convinced either you are a super hero and can't reveal your full identity or you have two glass eyes. Actually, they are photo-gray lenses and I can't control how they behave in the desert sunlight!
What would you say is the most useful tool that you use that is not part of a standard BBQ toolkit? The single most useful tool is a set of long-handled spring loaded tongs. My favorite non-traditional barbecue tool is a garden hoe. Terrific for raking out hot embers.
It seems like most "perfect steak" recipes involve using a frying pan and finishing the steak in the oven. Is there a way to get a perfect steak on a propane grill? I apologize for not being familiar with your work, but do you typically advocate for charcoal grilling vs propane? Okay, that's quite a mouthful.
A: You can get a great steak on a propane gril. The secret is to get the grill SCREAMING hot before the steaks go on (screaming hot = preheat the recommended amount of time then walk away for another 15 minutes). Don't forget to give each steak a quarter-turn after 2 minutes to lay on an awesome crosshatch of grill marks.
I prefer natural lump charcoal to propane, but I prefer hardwood charcoal to both.
What's the biggest mistake people make when barbecuing or grilling meat? Where do I start..?
Not having the grill hot enough (you're looking for a 2 Mississippi fire)
Having the grill TOO hot (remember there's a difference between grilled and burned)
Overcrowding the grill (I always leave 30% of the grate food free so you can dodge flair-ups)
Can you please settle an argument with a friend - is it okay for a grilled hamburger to be pink in the middle? You want the official response or the unofficial response? What I say in public or do at home?
In public, always cook your burgers to 160 degrees.
(If you have a REALLY capital trusted source of ground beef, cook it the way you like it).
How many tacos could you eat in one sitting? It's not the quantity, it's the quality.
What's your favorite vegetable to grill? Corn on the cob (naked as in husk off). Or is it asparagus, peppers, or mushrooms?
Am I wrong in thinking pulled pork shouldn't need BBQ sauce if it's cooked right, or has my pregnancy turned me into so much of a carnivorous monster that I'm glad to eat just a plate of meat? Well, that's one baby that's going to get a head start in life! The only sauce I allow on pulled pork is a Carolina-style vinegar sauce. Keep up the good work and tweet at me pictures of your baby!
Also, what's one simple thing even a novice can do that'll make their meat taste better? Thank you! Tip: douse the cooked meat with REALLY GOOD extra-virgin olive oil - that's what they do in Tuscany.
Thanks Steven for your great books and shows. What was your iron chef experience like behind the scenes? Did you enjoy the experience or was it really stressful? Did you have an idea of what you were going to make or did you wing it? It was really stressful. The Iron Chef looked like he ate Jewish guys from America for breakfast. I did wing it -- quite literally. Smoke-roasted chicken wings. I think I turned the tide when I got the Japanese to eat them with their fingers.
What is your favorite piece of meat to cook and why? My latest favorite piece of meat to cook is a beef plate rib, AKA brontosaurus ribs (latest photo here ) for a complete guide to beef rib anatomy, click here.
What's your opinion on grilling pizzas? I LOVE Grilled Pizza. I prefer to grill the raw dough directly on the grill grate (you can read about it my book How to Grill).
What is the secret that steakhouses don't want us to know? I had a life altering experience at The Precinct in Cincinnati. It was more flavorful than anything I have ever eaten, and miles away from any steak I had ever done on the grill. It was earthy, salty, rich and deep and I've tried endlessly to duplicate without ever coming close. I've used the same ridiculously expensive dry aged beef and done it up with salt and pepper on a smoking hot grill, which I finished with clarified butter and then let rest for 10 minutes, just as I've read everywhere. Even with the same ingredients, it's like I'm eating a completely different food. What am I doing wrong? I can only guess (because I haven't been there - but I'll be in Cincinnati in July and I will check it out) - my bet is they use a Salamander (a military strength broiler) to cook the meat from overhead as well as underneath. If all else fails, douse it with melted beef fat (that's what they do at Peter Luger's in Brooklyn).
How do you feel about pepper in bbq?! I mean, like Jamaican bbq style. If you mean black pepper, I add it to virtually EVERYTHING. If you mean scotch bonnet chilies, it's hard to imagine jerk seasoning without them. Better yet, use both.
Do you ever watch some of the old BBQU episodes and just laugh? We saw some of them over the Memorial Day weekend on Create and watched you appear to chug a mint julep or three on one of the episodes. Compared to your more recent stuff, the production isn't quite as polished. There is nothing more hideous in life than watching yourself on television, especially on a bad fashion day.
Hey Steven - my friends and I are from the Boston area and we're huge fans. When can we get a grill sesh going on the vineyard?? Sorry, when I'm in the Vineyard, I'm strictly in chill mode. (But you might find me grilling lobsters on Chappaquiddick.) Guess you'll have to come to BBQ U in Colorado Springs!
My friend and I have built a couple large grills in our free time and are looking to start another one soon. What, in your opinion, would make the holy grail of grills? Great! So 1, it should be front-loading. 2, it should be wood-burning. 3, it should have cast iron grates that ride up & down on a pulley system so you can control the heat (once you got that built- call me for dinner!).
What do you look for in a BBQ sauce? What are your favorite commercial BBQ sauces? What I look for in a barbecue sauce is interest and balance. Meaning the sauce should have an element I didn't expect, and the diverse elements should blend into a harmonious whole. My favorite commercial sauce is the one I manufacture under the name of Best of Barbecue (you can find it here for example - Link to www.smokenfire.com)
If you were going to have a dream grilling session, who would you invite, why, and would clothing be optional? Apicius (the ancient roman who wrote the world's first cookbook)
Tailledent (the medieval chef who wrote the world's longest selling cookbook - it's still in print)
And Fernando Oviedo Gonzalo Y Valdez (the Spanish explorer who discovered barbacoa -- which gave us our word barbecue).
You should always wear clothing, including closed shoes, when working with live fire.
What's the weirdest thing you've ever grilled or seen grilled? Where do I begin? Garlic-stuffed spleen in Morocco, choto (coiled lamb small intestines) in Uruguay, and the nori seaweed in Korea.
What's your personal favorite beer-can chicken dry rub recipe? Big fan! It's my favorite dry rub, period. And I'm such a dumb business man I will tell you the proprietary formula to my [best of BBQ all purpose rub](barbecuebible.com/product/best-barbecue-all-purpose-barbecue-rub/).
Equal parts
Salt.
Pepper.
Paprika.
Brown sugar.
With celery seed, onion powder, and garlic powder to taste.
I live in an apartment complex with a shared gas grill. I try to keep it hot, keep it clean, and keep it lubricated, but keeping it clean is something I don't have control over. Any tips you have for cleaning grills? Also, I love your shows and books! Thanks for your kind words! the best thing in your situation is to start with a raging hot fire. It burns everybody else's crud off, and once you brush & oil the grill, it will be as though you are grilling on your own pristine grill.
If you could grill and eat one extinct or nearly extinct animal what would it be? Bonus question: 'Merica! Extinct animal that I wouldn't drive to oblivion would be an Auroch -- the prehistoric cows. Oh, Homo Erectus grilled it already.
(I would never grill an almost extinct animal - survival is too tough already)
Did you attend the Big Apple BBQ in NYC? What is the best BBQ I should check out in NYC? No sorry, I was in Washington over the weekend. But here in Manhattan I'm crazy about the Brontosaurus ribs at Mighty Quinn.
All my beer can chicken and smoked turkey come out with very dark, rubbery skin. Am I smoking them too much? Weber 22" kettle grill, drip pan and soaked wood chips are what I'm using. Also I'm in Salt Lake and your shows are no longer on PBS here, we really miss seeing them. Sounds like a combination of too much smoke and too little heat. To get crisp skin, brush the outside of the bird with oil and cook it at 350 degrees. Write your local PBS station and tell them to put Primal Grill back on the air!
Thanks, I'll give it a try! We really miss CreateTv, they'd do saturday marathons of primal grill and bbq university. Thanks, write 'em and tell 'em you want more.
What do you think about Phil's BBQ in San Diego, CA? What place has the best BBQ in San Diego? Los Angeles? Should I buy a gas BBQ or charcoal? Haven't been there, sorry.
I'm going to answer a different question: best grilled italian-style meat is at Chi Spacca. It's completely awesome. They do the thickest steak I've ever seen, it's got to be like 5 inches thick.
Charcoal! (come the post-nuclear holocaust, you may not be able to fill those propane cylinders)
Being a Texan, I've grown up using mesquite chips in just about all of my grilling. Not that I'm complaining, because I love the taste, but if I wanted to broaden my horizons, what other woods would you recommend (beyond something standard like hickory)? I would say most of the Texans I know use oak. Two other personal favorites are apple and cherry.
My top combo: used weber grill and natural hickory charcoal. Is there anything better to grill with that? If so, I've never experienced it and I would like to. For screaming high heat, try Japanese bincho-tan charcoal ($3-4 a lump). But here's a cheaper idea: light hardwood chunks that you buy at the hardware store in a chimney starter, and grill over the smokey wood embers.
Have you heard about/tried the Pit Barrel Cooker and do you have any opinions? Yes! Matter of fact, we just cooked cherry glazed ribs in the Pit Barrel Cooker at BBQU last week. They were awesome. By the way, I'm still trying to figure out why the bottoms don't burn before the tops!
Thanks for the AMA! Let's say I'm pretty grill-inexperienced. What's the most impressive thing that I could make that has a low-ish chance of my screwing up? If you live on the West Coast, Tri-Tip. It's a triangular cut of sirloin that cooks like steak, and slices like brisket. You can slice it, regrill it and slice it, and do that until it's gone.
Do you have a formula for proper spacing on a grill?... In other words, how much space should be left between each piece of meat while grilling. If too much in crammed too close together then it seems the air flow is minimized and the grill doesn't stay hot enough throughout the cook time. I feel like I'm better off cooking in two shifts instead of loading everything on there at one time when I've got a lot to cook. Am I crazy or onto something? You're totally on to something. I recommend 2-3 fingers of space between each piece, depending on what you're grilling. I also recommend leaving 1/3 of the grill grate food free so you have a space to move the food to dodge flair-ups.
What is the one barbecue side dish that you cannot live without? ONE. Grilled garlic bread.
Would you ever barbecue fish? Yeah! I would grill steak fish - like swordfish and tuna. I would barbecue (hot smoke) oily fish - like bluefish and salmon. Next?
I've got this one: Squishing the burgers or steaks down "To make them cook faster". Ya, of course it does. But there goes your juice. Be prepared to gnaw on an old shoe. The practice oughta be outlawed. Enough said.
Grilled asparagus: Take some asparagus, lightly coat in olive oil. Season with salt and pepper. Grill them till tender. Finish with the juice of a half lemon. Simple and delicious. Only thing I would do is lay the asparagus stalks side by side and pin them at the top and bottom to make little rafts, easier to turn 4 rafts than 20 individual asparagus stalks.
Not a problem. Put them in a casserole dish, baking sheet, or anything works, really. I've used a pizza stone doing this to great effect, though I used parmesan and garlic instead of lemon for that one. Why not just skewer them and cook on the grill?
ANYWAY: 425 degrees for 12-15 minutes. Hint: brush with sesame oil and season with salt & pepper. The entire nation of Japan can't be wrong!
Last updated: 2014-06-14 16:15 UTC
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2014.03.09 00:48 tabledresser [Table] IamA 12 year Navy vet with 4.5 years on a US Submarine and time in the Navy Reserve. AMA!

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Date: 2014-03-08
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Questions Answers
Out of curiosity, what type of food did you eat while on a submarine? How much food did you get? How did you pass the time? Best food in the Navy! Made to order eggs every morning for breakfast. Typical shit for lunch and dinner. Sandwiches, pasta, burgers, whatever. We'd usually get at least one steak and crab leg dinner on a deployment. They kept us pretty well fed. I usually had enough to not really feel hungry at any time. There was always fresh fruit sitting out if you wanted a snack too.
I bet you guys have access to the VERY BEST crabs... Understatement of the day right there.
"There was a LOT of fuck off time so we'd mess with each other a lot too." LOL - must be coner. You damn right!
Fresh fruit? How often did you receive supplies? I read that ballistic missile subs go months without resupplying, I take it you were not on one of those? Nope. I was on a fast attack. Most of the fruit had a super thin coating of wax and would last a LONG time. It always blew me away that we could keep eggs in the engine room next to the air conditioning machinery and they wouldn't spoil as well.
Is a watery tart handing out swords a legitimate basis for government? Lol. You're asking the wrong guy.
Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
Just be wary of innocent looking rabbits... Like I wouldn't bring a goddamn holy hand grenade...
What was it like on a sub? was it crowded and noisy like you'd think? Cramped and crowded? Yea, but it wasn't too bad for the most part. You'd be amazed how little of a space you really need to fit into some spots and once in a while, you might freak out, but you'll be fine. The only time you really get any privacy is in your rack or the shitter.
Did you ever meet any special operations guys? and if so what was your impression? I met a master chief that was a Navy Seal. He was supervising some training that they were doing that involved the boat and he didn't want me shooting them or causing a scene if I happened to see them. Truth be told, I would have never seen them if he didn't point them out. They simulated planting a bomb on the bottom of the boat in the middle of the night and it impressed the hell out of me. Those guys are super badass.
Do you play the bass? If so, upright or electric? I do play. Have been since '97. Hence the username.
I can play either, but prefer an electric.
Jesus Christ, I see a whole lot of "I fucked off" and "I slept alot". Sounds like a typical fuckin' coner to me! Just kidding bro. I was a nuke EM on a fast boat. People always have the same questions, right? Lol. Fucking nukes. Get in the back and push!!
I enjoy answering them. Makes me happy to know I did something that has the interest of people.
Coners - Always asking us to get in the back and push. I wasn't asking... :)
I do as well. Most people have never met a submariner and I like explaining and clearing up misconceptions. You told them you're not a homo right? Even though you're a nuke? :)
Kidding man. Always nice to see another bubblehead.
My dad was in the Navy for several years. He once told me a story about the "Phantom Shitter"; one of the men would take a shit in the middle of a very public place, and no one ever found out who it was. Did you ever experience anything like that? Who the fuck just shits on the floor and walks away?!? I heard about them, never saw one. We did have a guy threaten to drop a deuce down the weapon shipping hatch because we couldn't find him a relief while he was the topside watch in port. Would have landed a few feet from the CO's stateroom. Would have been amusing.
We had some goofy stuff though. Dude that put on the CO's underwear and pissed himself then put his laundry back in the dryer. (Officers don't have to do their own laundry) "Super Nuke" was a nuke that would wear a cape and his belt and run around. That was all he was wearing. A site to see while you're trying to eat lemme tell you.
Why didnt he just piss onto the underwear instead of pissing himself while wearing it? It's awful lot funnier to see him standing in the shower doing that than just pissing on fabric.
I didnt realize he was in a shower, I just visualized him in a laundry room stealing underwear, putting it on and then pissing himself just to take it back off and put it in the dryer. Lol. It's so much more horrible when I read it. But yea. He grabbed em, ran into the lower level head, stripped down, threw on captains skivvies, hopped in the shower and just started pissing. He was giggling like a school girl the whole time. Then he ripped em off, tossed em in the dryer to dry and went back to work. I'll never forget it.
What's it like being feet away from warheads at all time? You tend to get really complacent about it. We would actually have beds next to the torpedos most of the time. I remember fucking off near them often, but never with them.
What's the closest distance that you played tummy sticks to the missiles? I can neither confirm nor deny dry humping a warhead "Armageddon style"
Did you order the Code Red?? Did you order the Code Red??? I think I am entitled! You want the truth?
McHale's Navy or Down Periscope? Down Periscope. No question in my mind.
Are there some common misconceptions about the Navy/general combat that you wish to clear up? Like what?
We fuck off a lot but know how to have a good time.
We're not a bunch of gay guys fondling each other.
Fucking with a sailor is a bad idea because he's always hanging around his best friends and we don't know what a "fair fight" is...
We're not a bunch of gay guys fondling each other. You're a bunch of straight guys fondling each other to see who gets uncomfortable first. Source: Surface ET. Exactly!
Otoh, sailors, particularly submariners, are the neckbeardiest bunch in the whole military. His best friends are probably all off raiding in wow. Lmfao. Nope. But the beard is in full force for sure!
Hi, I have always wondered why sailors in the control room of a battleship/destroyer wear a white head cover during engagements. Is there a particular reason? We don't. That's a flash hood worn to prevent burning if something catches on fire. The only time I ever wore one of these was during fire drills.
What was your mission while serving in a submarine? I navigate and was in charge of everything electrical in the front end of the boat. School...lots and lots of school. A lot more than other people. In general, we were in A school for at least a year before we even got to the boat. Learning your job and general submarine shit. Nothing really prepares you like showing up to the boat though. By the time I got to mine, I had already toured a couple of them in Connecticut at subschool just because they were there and why the hell not?! The claustrophobia thing doesn't really exist much. In all, you deal with it or we'll make your life hell. There was still plenty of room to stretch out in certain areas and I never really felt too crowded except when we were piloting out of a channel to the ocean and there were a kabillion people in the control room. You just sorta ignore it though because you're busy as hell at that point.
What was kind of preparation was there for being in a submarine?
How do they filter those who may be claustrophobic?
Is it difficult to become a submariner? compared to other force e.g navy army etc. I can't speak for the other branches, but you have to learn everything there is to know about that boat the first year you're there. We each have our own jobs to do, but we all are required to get qualified in submarines and show the ability to overcome any ships casualty without even thinking about it. It's crucial to each of our lives that it's like that too. We don't have a damage control division like the surface ships do.
It's obviously not impossible, but it doesn't come easy either.
We don't have a damage control division like the surface ships do. Glad I'm surface. Fuck messing with VCHT and repair lockers. Not too big of a deal seeing as how our lives depended on it!
Has there ever been a bed bug problem on a sub? Any insects at all for that matter? Not on mine. They take pretty good precautions for that stuff. Our matresses are antimicrobial and sterile for the most part. Bugs really don't hang out on the boat too much though. I always wondered why. One would think something would sneak on there with all the food, but I never really saw it. The fans do a good job circulating the air so even flies don't last too long if there actually is one on the boat.
Edit: Just looked at the pics. What the hell is an M16 doing on a sub? I think the biggest health problem I saw involved the risk of staph infection as we all got these weird "zits" once in a while. Watched doc cut one out of the back of a guys neck, another out of a buddy's knee, and one out of my best friends elbow. Pretty nasty shit. I'm sure you've seen staph infections on Youtube at one point or another. Usually the epic zit shit.
Thanks for the reply. Now, about that M16... One of my last days on the boat and I caught torpedoman cleaning it. I asked him to take a picture of me with it since I'm standing next to a torpedo. I love to shoot and I'm damn good at it too! :)
But, I want to know WHY there's a ground combat weapon on a SUBMARINE. It's gonna be tied to the pier sooner or later. On the surface, our only defense is small arms. M16, 9mm, shotguns, grenade launchers, and a few M240's.
Thank you kind sir. Marine here. Rock on. Oh, and OOH RAH! Damn Jarheads... :)
Meant with the utmost respect of course.
Are there still any good mythical sea creature sightings? Not to my knowledge :)
Hey, thanks for the AMA. When I was in (86-90) we had a guy 'talk to Ralph' all over the helm of the FFG I was stationed on. What's the worst seasickness you've ever seen on a sub? Ironically, I get seasick as fuck. Never knew until after I got to the boat and it's a little late to be making career choices at that point. When we were deep, it was exactly how I feel right now sitting at my desk in the living room. Except we took the occasional angle when maneuvering.
On the surface though...goddamn...Dramamine was my buddy for sure. It actually works! Since the boat has a round hull, up...down...left...right... all at the same time. Ugh. When it really got in the shits though, we'd just go deep.
What did you do in the reserves? More navigating? Not a fucking thing. It was the biggest joke to me. We literally sat there for an entire weekend with jack shit to do. I smoked so many cigarettes on drill weekend to just pass the damn time.
When I went out for the two week stint they made you do every year, I went to Crane, Indiana to build small arms and shoot shit like it was going out of style. I also took a course in Leavenworth Kansas that taught how to spy using the Internet. That was a fun one.
Link to www.youtube.com
That's me on my last 2 weeks at Crane.
Do you know if all the reserve branches are like that or not? Every day. I work in IT. It's amazing how much shit you can find on the internet when you know where to look.
Also spying sounds like it might be fun. Use anything you learned? I don't know if all branches are like that in the reserves. I have a few friends in the Army reserve out here that bitch about it all the time. They seem to do an awful lot more and actual go places and "train" for whatever. I wound up making friends with a guy that owns a paddle wheel boat locally and he let us come down and do maintenance for the price of feeding us lunch. Just to get the fuck out of the reserve center and actually do SOMETHING.
Wow that bad? I thought there'd be more to do in the reserves. How long were you in? I did 6 years of both active and reserves. So 12 years total.
How did you stand being bored to death for so long? Was it a service term requirement? Active duty kept me pretty busy so I never really was so bored. The reserves made me want to rip my eyes out. Especially when they decided to ban outside materials like computers or college books. Instead, they wanted us to focus more on Navy related learning material. Seeing as how I was the only submarine ET in the entire central IL reserve area, I couldn't really go learn much. I strived to find something different to do and wound up pitching the boat maintenance thing as "cross-training". The guys that went loved it and I enjoyed it too. I bounced as soon as my contract was up.
How hard were the requirements to get in to submarine service? Not too bad. You have to be smart, but I worked with some complete idiots too so... In all it's just a lot of school work. The instructors do a good job in sub school making sure that you understand what the hell is going on and provide extra guidance for anybody who is struggling.
It's a sobering thought when you see how stupid some of the people you're working with can be at times and then you realize they are some of the best in the Navy. I've always wondered what it would be like to be on a surface ship.
Which ResCen? I drilled out of Decatur for 12 years. Peoria.
Not sure if you're still answering but had a question. Since you've done both active and reserve duty, do you feel that reserve folks are taken advantage of in a sense? I'm not sure of the ratio of the two sent into battle/theatre. Seems to me the reserve/national guard soldiers are sent in kinda like the South Park, "get behind the darkies" senario. Any thoughts? Haven't you heard of the emancipation proclamation?
Sorry I had to. I don't think the reservists are taken advantage of. I never got called up and the guys that went overseas wanted to go pretty badly so they volunteered. The fact that they sit around and do jack shit the whole time completely warrants some of the stuff they have to do deal with. If it weren't for my kids, I would have much rather done 6 more years on active than in the reserves.
Link to www.youtube.com
Reference for anybody who didn't get that.
What is Naval Training in general like? I was considering joining the Navy but I didn't get too much info out of some recruiters. I started off in the nuclear program. I wound up failing out on the last day of power school so I was there for about a year. Definitely the hardest schooling I've ever done in my life.
Afterwards, I wound up going to Connecticut to learn basic submarine stuff and another "A" school to learn about electronics (of which I already learned in nuke school). So it was a cake walk.
I'm an electrician so it was just a bunch of math for the most part.
What power school class were you in? I can't remember the number. But I wanna say it was 0102 or something like that. Power school started in January 2001 for me.
How was the new powerschool in SC? They just built that and moved everything there after our class in Orlando ended in 1997. It was gorgeous. I didn't know it was so new.
I had complaints about nuke school other than I couldn't keep up.
Do submarines dock in cool places, or just take off and go. How long were your tours? Typical Westpac tour is 6 months out. Fast attacks get to go to pretty cool places. I lived in Hawaii, but the boat took me to Alaska, Seattle, San Diego, Japan, Singapore, and Guam. I've been to all but 8 states now. I have friends that haven't even left IL yet and I'm in my mid 30's.
When we would go to foreign liberty ports, we were usually in for a week or two. Depends on the schedule and what we were doing.
Did you have any supersticious beliefs on the submarine? I didn't. Traditionally, there were a couple guys that had a chicken and pig tattooed on their feet (they always return to land). But I can't think of anything else.
Yeah we Aussies with any military interest get to hear that story quite often, the RAN is pretty damn proud of it. Many years ago I went to the sub base in Perth and yup, they told us. They took a picture of the stern plate didn't they? Then presented it to the captain of the carrier over dinner or some typically Australian thing. Is that true? Absolutely true.
For how long or far could you be out in the waters swimming till the fuel tanks empty and you need to come back to port for a refill? I'm assuming you didn't mean to say swimming... The only limit on the boat to return to port is food. The boat doesn't run out of fuel for about 25 years or so. US Navy submarines are nuclear powered. I think we have 1 diesel boat left.
I can tell you that my longest underway was 48 days with no sunlight and we had plenty of food. As a general rule, we usually bring 6 months worth of food onboard when we leave and we can make that stretch if we have to.
I introduced my son to the movie Das Boot last night. Have you seen the movie? Did you have any experiences similar to any scene? I haven't seen it in probably 10 years now. I don't recall anything like that though. Realistically, it was a lot of fuck off time and cleaning the boat. Can't go to war on a dirty boat! We had a few ship's casualties (fire/flooding/etc) and I've always joked that you haven't lived life until you've been through one. The guys on the boat are all highly trained pro's though and I never really worried about too much.
Have you ever had to use your skills you learned inside of the military in civilian life? If so any good stories? I can tie a knot like it's nobody's business. lol.
I learned a lot about electricity and how things work. I'm nowhere near as good of a repairman as I'd like to be, but having the ability to troubleshoot things follows you.
Some of the things you learn in the military aren't necessarily lessons that they intentionally teach though. I like to think I possess a certain work ethic that a lot of people can't fathom because a 40 hour work week is still a vacation compared to being at sea.
What was/is your rate/rank? I left the boat as an ET2 and got out of the reserves as an ET1.
I'm a brand new hospital corpsman, I hope to be the IDC on a sub eventually. Six years from now that's where I want to be. Thank you for your service! Doc on a boat is kind of a hookup since they don't really have to do much other than manage inventory and keep us inoculated for diseases in whatever country we visit. However, when the shit hits the fan, he's the go to guy for anything and everything medical. Setting broken bones and stitching people up are probably the most common things.
Any advice for advancement, evals, career in general? Pay attention to the things you're doing and read about the maintenance that you might not actually perform. It seems like the exams always had some crazy little questions of things you never really looked at. When you finish that first exam, go write down some of the stuff you weren't so sure about and look it up in your free time. Doing so is just going to broaden your knowledge of your rate and make you better at what you do.
As for the career advice, just stay out of trouble. Be intelligent about what you're doing and be honest and upfront about anything you do wrong. If you screw something up and you just outright admit you fucked up and that you're not going to make the same mistake, they don't really have a reason to punish you. I watched a few guys make some pretty stupid mistakes while they were drunk and then they lied about it. You're gonna get screwed over sooner or later if you lie about something. Karma is a bitch.
Thank you for the advice, I'll do my best to keep it in mind. No problem! I appreciate the question as well!
Nuke or non nuke et? Technically both. I went in as a nuke and failed on the last day of power school. Wound up being non nuke on the boat.
If you you flunked NNPS then you were never 'technically both', coner. Now me - I was a serving nuke MM for seven or eight years, then got busted for doing something incredibly stupid, and served three more on shore. True. But I have knowledge of nuke school and what it's all about. Also have plenty of friends that were nukes and was with them their entire careers. Meh. Still a proud cone. Wouldn't want to be a nuke after I saw it. Lol.
One thing worth mentioning is that the majority of the classes I took did wind up in my service record and paid off when I went to college for transfer credits. So I did still get the "nuclear trained" crap on my record.
Without time or the option to shower, what's your next best option? Baby wipes. It's amazing how good they feel when you have nothing else.
For how long are you typically submerged and how does that affect you or others (maybe someone having a breakdown)? tnx for ama. Longest run I did was 48 days with no sunlight. You just sorta deal with it. You don't really have the option to have a breakdown and if you do, we're just gonna fuck with you because of it.
Great question!
When you're down like that, does it feel like an adventure even though you can't see anything, or does it just feel like you're living in a cave? Feels like I'm sitting in an office with rounded walls and somebody spilled oil. Can't find the spill, but you can smell it.
48 days? Pfff, fast attack boys. My first patrol was 77 days, on a boomer that was seven years older than I was. And you got your own rack...
Do you have to take vitamin d supplements? If I did, the cooks were putting it in there. Lol.
I never took any kind of supplement knowingly.
What would happen if a hostile torpedo would pierce the ""armor"" of your submarine??? would that submarine go down in a explosion or something?? The problem here is that they don't just pierce. They tend to explode shortly after. So yea, we would have a serious problem. If we got lucky, we would EMBT blow to the surface and half the crew would likely die. realistically, we would be screwed and probably head to the bottom.
Damm. Agreed. I guess the TLDR here is "don't get blown up".
Is it easy to sneak illegal drugs onto a submarine? LOL. I guess you could try. Nobody really searched my shit that I brought onboard, but you're not going to have any privacy so good luck hiding it. All of our shit gets inspected when we get back though. Customs brings a drug dog on and it gets to go through the boat really quick. You'd have to be pretty damn stupid to try to smuggle a drug though.
When you came topside where you got cell service did you always worry when checking your voice-mail? Texting had just become a the popular new thing while I was in and my phone would blow up when we first pulled in. I didn't have much to worry about though as email kept me pretty up-to-date with anything going on back home.
Former FT2 checking in. Norfolk SSN 714 '99 to "03. I was a nuke drop too. What boat and years were you on there? Chicago SSN 721 from 2002 - 2006.
Who was the XO in the Chicago when you got there? Commander Herrington. RIP. He was a great guy.
Nuclear or nucular? Link to www.youtube.com. George Bush fucked that up all the time. It's nuclear. Nuke-lee-er...not nuke-ya-ler
What was your weirdest underwater experience during your service? We used to tie a string to a few deck joints in the fan room. When we went deep, you would see the slack in the string. Just the fact that the entire boat is being squeezed is a little mind blowing.
I just checked your pictures and there was one of you with scruff. You guys don't have to shave while out at sea? Not on deployment. One of those huge perks to being on a sub. Had to shave as soon as we got close to land though.
Why the command to shave? Because we can't have hairy face in uniform? Something about a bad image or whatever.
Have you ever thought to yourself that you'de feel more of a man if you joined the Army or Marines? And I'm taking it that you are short. My favorite bumper sticker was for the Marine Corps. Said something like "Join the Marines, travel to exotic places, blow them up".
Just some fun ribbing bro. Thanks for your service. I'm an army vet so anyone that serves their country is ok in my book! As for the other branches... Link to www.youtube.com
What has been the most ass clenching moment you've had so far? Somebody was clearing the bubbles out of the digital depth gauge without permission. So nobody knew it was coming. You basically vent the bubbles by relieving the pressure and the gauge reads shallow while you do it.
At any rate, nobody was paying attention and we were already pretty deep. The helmsman wound up driving us down based on digital depth (that's a fucking no no). Once the gauge was restored, we realized we went pretty deep (about 50 feet past test depth). Scared the shit out of me. I was a rider on another boat at that point.
We also had a yellow sounding passing through some Hawaiian islands. Wound up being not too big of a deal and we were being over protective, but it's something you never want to hear as a quartermaster. It basically means you're about to hit dirt.
I work for a government contractor and have to go to navy ships all the time. I'm 6'7" 250. Add a hard hat and I'm banging my head off everything. My little bro is the CSWO on a destroyer, he's 6'4". I feel for him every day. I've only had two concussions! Both are from smashing my brains on the overhead stuff on the boat.
I sat up after a nightmare. Took my rack light right in the middle of the forehead and fell back asleep pretty quick.
The second one I was in the fan room for field day and stood up near the escape hatch and took a 6 inch bolt on the crown of my skull. I dropped like a sack of potatoes with that one as I came up full speed. I have no idea how I didn't cut my head open that time.
If you are in war and your going 1v1 against another submarine what are some counter measures you could take to win the battle? I understand some of it may be classified but tell what you can. Strike first and strike fast. That's about it.
What was it like going underwater for prolonged periods of time? Did you have communication with your family or connection to the internet while down there? No internet or communication with the outside world. Email is delayed and only transmitted when time allows which is rare.
My family knew that no news is good news and they would hear from me when we get wherever we are going.
How do you stay active? I was a lazy fucker. But there was a treadmill and a stair climber on board. We had some free weights as well. I preferred sit-ups and push-ups if anything. They were easy and you could do them anywhere.
I gotta know: even with filtered air, was there ever a "beans day" on the sub? Also, did farts echo? Yes. And often. They don't echo though. Definitely some smelly ass going on, but you can expect that when you have a room full of dudes.
Haha! Now I have a "Blazin Saddles" submarine scene in my head! The first time I ever saw that movie was onboard!
Watched it with my LPO, he was black as night and proud of it. I just remember him going "what kind of racist shit is this?!" We were all cracking up.
What's the grossest thing on a submarine? An article on cracked mentioned jizz covered walls of the shower that are impossible not to bump up against when the sub is pitching and rolling on the surface. Is this true? As for the shower, it's customary to squeegee the entire thing when you're done. But you sorta just knew that dudes jerked off in there. The place is kept pretty clean for the most part.
Also did you ever sleep in the torpedo tubes? Willingly or unwillingly. Hahaha. Never slept in the tubes. Nor did I know anybody who did. That's incredibly dangerous. I did sleep in the torpedo room once in a while though. One of the shittier racks onboard. There were stories if torpedomen lining something inside the torpedo tube or writing their name in chalk on the inside walls and the senior guys shutting the tube behind them just to freak them out. But that was just momentary.
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2012.08.20 05:56 tabledresser [Table] IAmA: I was in the US Navy from 1991 to 1994, and I was stationed on one of the first co-ed ships. We had ~50 women become pregnant during the final deployment before the ship was decommissioned. AMA

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What was the reaction of the crew when the first woman got pregnant? (anger, humorous, disbelief, etc) Was it a surprise that this happened? And how about after it happened 30+ times? My ship was nicknamed The Love Boat. Look, it's just like the joke about subs (100 sailors leave, 50 couples come back), we're away for 6 months, and masturbation just isn't enough for most people. We have 1500 people in a 641 ft X 85 ft tin can, it's only a matter of time before hookups start to happen. Also, the deployment on which I went wasn't the first time it happened. There was constant "awareness" training, but you can't stop people who are determined to fuck.
In some ways, we were the butt of many jokes, and our reputation often preceded us to ports.
Bitches be triflin. Out of my chair, I fell.
How does masturbation work on one of those things? do you just let loose in the mess hall if you're feeling it? Usually stick to doing it in your bunk. Trying that in the showers or commode stalls will get you beat up. Those places are often considered "community property".
Is sex with other people on the ship prohibited? Is owning condoms prohibited? I'm curious. No and no, they give out condoms in the medical offices. That said, it's the adulterous or fraternization aspects of it which are the root of these problems.
Don't you 'share' bunks? Or is that just submarines? Not sure on subs. On surface ships you're assigned a bunk and a locker for your personal effects.
What are your thoughts on single sex vs. co-ed ships? Which did you find to work better (productivity, relaxed atmosphere, etc.)? So, when I was getting out, they were starting to bring women on combatants, such as carriers and destroyers. I think they went about it the right way, try it out on tenders and repair ships, then work them up to combatants and eventually subs. However, when doing the latter, they've started with only officers, as they will be a bit more "invested" in the Navy, versus a 4-year enlisted sailor who will more often see it as a job versus a career and will be more inclined to make bad decisions. Yeah, that can sound cold, but it's backed up by plenty of statistics.
To your original question, I think it's a matter of personal responsibility. What you have between your legs means no difference to me as long as you can do the job to which you are assigned. Nobody says you have to gain a reputation as the town pump, you chose to make that decision yourself. It's hard to feel pity for people who make poor choices.
It's often a double standard with some of the less-than-honorable ones. They want to be treated as equals, but they will bitch up a storm about how they can't do certain things because "I'm a girl".
Again, that last line may sound pretty fucked up, but I saw it time and time again.
I'm much more concerned about when you were getting in. If ya know what I mean. Hiyoooo!!!!!
Did they ever express an interest for using your boat and crew for any colony ship ideas? Haha. It would have made for great reality television.
We called the USS Samuel Gompers the Love Boat. AS-37, right? Fuck, why do I still remember these 20 years later?
Memory's a bit fuzzy...probably a few too many nights in PI. AD-37 (Thanks Google). That's right, it was pre-Shenendoah class.
Did you become a father? Also, why didn't the men use condoms? Nope, I was a serious SAP, so I never had to worry about it.
the answer to the second question? I don't know why they didn't use condoms...... i wasn't there....
Did anybody need a paternity test? Plenty. When you're underway for 6 months and you come back to San Diego and you're 3 months pregnant, it's fairly simple math. Tons of divorced caused by that mess.
Any particularly fun stories about Wog Day? This was in the early 90s, before digital cameras were prevalent. I have my Wog Day certificate, I'll see if I can dig it up and scan it. So, to give you a good example of wog day in one paragraph - I spent most of the day crawling around on my hands and knees wearing my underwear on the outside of my pants, an egg was dropped down the back of my pants and broken with a shillelagh, tabasco sauce was then poured down the back as well.
anything even resembling a shillelagh is banned with extreme prejudice That makes me a little sad. It's right up there with parents suing schools when their "special little angel" flunks pre-algebra. We're encouraging non-accountability and we're raising a generation who can't take their licks.
My dad was on a carrier in the 80s and on one of their trips across he got "appointed" to haze a captain that had just come on and never crossed before. He said after that they would pass each other below deck and just smirk about it. Glad you got to do one of the fun ones. I love stuff like that, it's not hazing where people are shamelessly humiliated, rather you're making your bones with your shipmates and showing them you can play ball. It builds amazing rapport and comradery.
Not that I doubted you :) The statistic that female soldiers/sailors are more likely to be raped versus killed by enemy fire really gets me. Our system is so fucking broken, we have people killing themselves over there because they don't see any other way out. We also have people who never even saw combat coming back with PTSD. What a mess we got ourselves into. I never saw any prejudice, but there were many things which (for me at least) mirrored high school cliques and social circles. I went in when i was 18, right out of high school, so I tended to carry many of those mannerisms and observations with me. That said, I went in right as PC was coming into many facets of the military and the government. We were still a bit old-school back then.
I've had my question but if you're doing follow ups, which do you think is a bigger problem in the military: prejudices of all kinds (sexism, homophobia etc.) or "political correctness gone mad" (I think they're both big bads, so just wondering which you think is more in evidence)
My father was in the Navy at about the same time on a submarine. He shared the story of the whole shellback experience. The parts that weren't really weird dudes in underwear, lots of lard, and a fat guy with an egg in his belly button. Strange tradition. The fat guy usually has a cherry in his bellybutton, and it's slathered in peanut butter. It took me a few years before I could eat cherries or PB&Js again.
Absolutely. I'm 21 and I think this. next generation is going to grow up to be a bunch of pussies. >next generation is growing up to be a bunch of pussies.
FTFY.
Very much agreed. I had friends in Iraq get it much worse and it ended up tearing units apart because it wasn't friendly natured hazing. It's amazing how much it truly is a fine line between "I love my team, I would kill or die for them, and this is all friendly joking among us" to "I can't wait to publicly humiliate and shame this guy in front of the entire base".
Sadly, some people just don't know the acceptable levels of friendly ribbing.
I am in the US Army Infantry and their is talk of allowing females in combat arms MOS. what are your thoughts on this? Also how did the introduction of females effect moral? How did the pregnancies effect moral? By nature, guys will always think with their little head instead of their big head. I will fully admit to treating many of them differently based on their appearance and whether or not I was attracted to them.
Would the infirmary perform abortions if asked? You know, that's a good question. I really don't know.
Were there more complaints about the food from women? I didn't really pay much attention to their culinary comments.
Did the women do anything to try to appear more feminine than their uniforms would typically intend? There were a ton of women who didn't hide the fact that they were lesbians. To answer your question, uniform guidelines and personal appearance regulations were very strict. So, no, they couldn't bedazzle their shirts :)
Did any of them say anything that was actually funny? I worked with a couple of heterosexual women (albeit tomboys) who were very much the "one of the guys" types. They were openly critical of the women who were always complaining or didn't pull their own weight. It was quite refreshing.
Did the guys have problems working as naturally as they might otherwise? Plenty of times. There were a number of false harassment accusations brought against very reputable males. Unfortunately, because it was sexual in nature, it had to be investigated. Also, because it was a floating high school, word got around that PO3 so-and-so allegedly harassed Seaman so-and-so. Unfortunately, people never see the word allegedly, and his reputation is forever tarnished. It makes you want to do bad things to some women.
Did the guys behave respectfully to the women? I did, because I realized early on how fucked I would be should the wrong thing be said or misinterpreted. Some guys were a bit too casual. Walking the razor's edge, so to speak.
Were their hazing rituals which made having women that much more awkward that usual? I would say Wog Day was the epitome of how far we could take our new-found political correctness on our co-ed vessel. My initiation was apparently one of the first where it was announced "participation is voluntary and encouraged, however any retribution taken out against a shipmate who chooses to not join in on the festivities will be dealt with swiftly and harshly".
Is there a naval/nautical term for running train? Not that I know of.
Wow. I'm amazed anyone got pregnant with free condoms, much less 50 of them. Why do you think they didn't use them? Like, if they took them they would be afraid someone would find out? Or....? Often times, they were either acts of sudden passion, or they were incredibly irresponsible during repeated "sessions" and they didn't always use rubbers.
Any officers get pregnant or got someone else pregnant? Not that I know of. I'm almost positive it was limited to the enlisted women. We had about 1500 crew, about 140 of them were officers, and only 25-40 of those were women. I don't think any male officers were banging enlisted females, that would be a serious violation of the fraternization policy and subject to court martial.
How many of the females were raped or sexually assaulted? I don't recall. As far as I knew, we only had one captain's mast related to anything sexual, which I attended as a witness (some dude spanking a girl's behind as she was climbing some stairs).
Didn't you guys ever hear of birth control? Yeah, and the sad part was that condoms were readily and freely available in the Corpsman's office (hospital).
Any player on the ship that impregnated more than one woman? When I was in college I knew a guy who did this to 3 girls. A true douchebag. Not that I know of.
Like I mentioned before, it was a lot like a high school there, so gossip and details spread quickly.
getting knocked up was a fairy serious thing. What happened? Was there any kind of punishment if both of them were single? Did any women get pregnant deliberately to get sent home? Provided no fraternization or adultery regulations were being violated, it wasn't an issue. That said, there were many things the woman could no longer do once they tested positive for pregnancy. Going underway was the big one, and the biggest pain in the ass from a staffing and logistics perspective.
How many did you impregnate? Zero. I was a total wallfloweSAP.
Did one need a lot of game / had to be a player to score there? Or just saying something like "our shifts end at the same time, let's fuck afterwards" would had done it? It's a lot like Glenn and Maggie on The Walking Dead. Your options are horribly limited.
Did anyone else knock them up or was it just you? It was apparently everyone but me. If it were the other way around, I imagine my penis would still be sore.
What's your shoe size? 13.
You know what they say about big feet right? That you should buy big shoes?
Is it a medical discharge for a pregnant sailor or a type of dishonorable discharge? I think it's a general discharge. Getting pregnant isn't dishonorable, although the circumstances of the conception may be.
Are you a daddy, OP? Negative.
Do you think anybody got raped? I would imagine so.
Were any of the male sailors responsible for more than their fare share of the pregnancies? Not really, it was mostly a 1:1 ratio.
Did you kiss the prince? You know the fat guy that got all slathered up for the occasion. I was hoping I wouldn't have to mention that. Let's just say there was peanut butter, a cherry, and a fat man's belly button in the mix.
I was in the same time you were (USS Puffer out of San Diego). Much better without women. What ship was this, and where was she ported? Were there ever any sexual harassment accusations? USS Acadia (AD-42), she was a west coast tender, her sister ship was based out of Norfolk. There were also a couple of sub tenders at SUBASE off Point Loma.
The Land and the McKee. Know 'em well. Yep, we got a chick from the McKee before our final deployment. She had a bit of the cray-cray going on.
I was rated IC, which meant we often got the smarter women.
This Qeustion isn't about sex or pregnancy. I am leaving for navy bootcamp in October. I'm 19 and 130lbs. Any bootcamp advice for a new sailor? Don't buy stupid crap, but treat every overseas journey like it may be your last. Take lots of photos, get the occasional unique souvenir, but don't buy the goofy stuff. Also, when you visit a foreign port, travel in groups, trust no one, and know the local laws. For example, in the middle east, it is VERY disrespectful for someone to see the soles of your shoes.
Wracking my brain here. USS Sierra? USS Acadia.
The USS Maternity Ward!! I shamelessly upvoted you.
You know there was just as much sex going on on those boats before there were women allowed on them. Yes, but the penis to penis ratio was 1:1.
BRB, joining the navy. Never in my post did I say the girls were all cute :)
IIRC, they get cuter every day that you have no one to compare them to. No doubt.
I was stationed in Guam up at the Mag from 95-98. All the pregos from the Holland and Frank Cable would come work for me while the ship was deployed... Long story short, I fucked a LOT of pregnant chicks in my time on Guam... lol. Fortunately, I was off duty on the day we docked in Guam for refueling and re-supplies. It was especially cool for me as my Dad was born there when his father was in the Marines following WWII. I got to see quite a bit of the island.
Out of curiosity, what was your cutoff time after which you wouldn't nail a pregger?
Mostly case by case... But frankly once they switched to the elastic uniform pants.... lol. So was any position open or did you opt for the "lay on your side and scoot over to the edge of the bed"?
I utilized a method I referred to as "Ridin' The Manatee" which mainly consisted of hanging on as long as humanly possible. I laughed way too hard at this.
In the Marines, in Coed Barracks. Yep. Thatll happen...you should see what we did to the Air Force Barracks lol. For the Navy (at least at the time), getting knocked up was a fairy serious thing, especially if the woman was adulterous, which IIRC was still punishable by a court martial.
Plus, once you're pregnant, you can't go underway, so we had to spend the bucks to fly them home, and then find a replacement for them. Deployments were 6 months long, so we're not talking about a body to cover someone's shift for a couple of days.
still punishable by a court martial. Still is. Well, not court martial but NJP. On my last cruise we had a married guy nail a hooker in Souda Bay and went to mast for it. Frocked E-5 busted down to Fireman. I often feel like a rarity by not allowing myself to make such decisions based on how horny I am.
Hehehe. Gorilla warfare. Hey, it's nothing like orangutan warfare. Don't even get me started on the apes, I mean, you saw what they did to Chuck Heston.
Thank you for serving, but seriously.. WHOOSH I know he was trolling, I was just having some fun with him.
Trolled. Doesn't mean I can't have some fun with it.
You probably weren't one of the guys who impregnated a woman. Probably a homo virgin loser. Question: Why are you a virgin homo loser? Troll much?
How did they get pregnant if they were on the sea? Explanation
Wait, what? Fuck.... that's a really embarrassing misunderstanding, and i am really sad Haha, sorry man. I wasn't sure if you knew.
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2012.04.18 15:09 tabledresser [Table] IAmA human named Bill Corbett, writer and performer for RiffTrax.com and previously Mystery Science Theater 3000.

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Date: 2012-04-17
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What happened to Servo and Crow T. Robot? They are still owned by Best Brains, the company that produced MST3K . It's my hope that they'll be in the Smithsonian one day, wreaking havoc.
How often to you get recognized by strangers? Not often at all! But I got recognized at the weirdest time a few winters ago, when I was helping push a guy's car which was stuck in the snow. Guy next to me, while pushing and dying with effort: "Holy crap, you're Bill Corbett." In response, I had a heart attack.
Is there any movie you guys have flat-out refused to do for MST3k or Rifftrax, and why? Not that anyone was trying to make us do them, but we will always avoid movies about big tragedies like Schindler's List or Hotel Rwanda, especially if they're generally effective movies. Making quippy remarks in the face of those scenes would seem sociopathic. Not to say there's not a lot of gray area between that and some movies with uncomfortable scenes, but at that extreme level we'd never not go near them. We also GENERALLY avoid: 1) comedies -- harder to riff because you keep having to say, essentially, "that's not funny." And stuff that doesn't give us a way in, for other reasons: too talky, too boring, too SOMETHING. Case-by-case basis.
Awesome! I'm a huge fan, bobbleheads, mst3k inspired pet names, etc. I always stumble on the "favorite" questions because I like so many of the things we've done. MODEST, HUH?
What was your favorite episode/movie of MST3K? Favorite Rifftrax? But some of my favorite MST3K eps that come to mind right now: Space Mutiny, Werewolf, The Final Sacrifice [ROWSDOWER!], Jack Frost, Soultaker.
One last one, what is your favorite riff that you've EVER delivered? Some of my favorite RiffTrax, off the top of my head: 300, Twilight, Warriors of the Wasteland, Galaxy Invader, the LOTR series, Captain America, The Room, Birdemic, Star Wars Holiday Special. And I know I'm leaving so many out!
Has Tommy Wiseau ever showed up outside your window in the middle of the night? I think so, though that might have been a raccoon.
What made you want to be involved RiffTrax/MST3K? I got to see MST3K before I was actually on the show, and loved it. The humor was very smart, but also didn't take itself too seriously. Irreverent without being dickish. And I knew some of the people involved, so I asked to audition as a writer. From there: HISTORY. *in my mind)
Which is your favorite episode of either? How would you try and convince someone that doesn't know either to check them out? As far as convincing someone, not sure. Play them your favorite ep, and they may go for it or not. We know it's not for everyone, but... nothing is!
Can you enjoy movies for their own sake, or is there always a little voice in your head that cracks jokes while you watch? I can enjoy movies for their own sake, and love to do just that. My wife keeps me in check when I get too riff-y though. It can be obnoxious, I know. But it's sometimes hard to turn off!
I've seen this before, whenever someone explicitly states that they are a human, they definitely aren't. What's your game, alien scum? I am as humanistic as any homo sapiens types like yourselves let's have a barbecue and then a war and sex want a Coke.
Do you know if the greatest line in cinematic history -- "this is where the fish lives" -- was scripted or improvised? Ha! I don't know. Either way, THEY LEFT IT IN THE MOVIE. Jeez.
How is the Kickstarter project coming along? Pretty well, thanks. Looks like we will make it, though maybe by the skin of our teeth. Or someone's teeth.
off, I love all that you and everyone else has done with respect to MST3K and Rifftrax. My wife loves the shorts as she can't stand to sit through an entire bad movie. How well do you get along with the Cinematic Titanic crew? 1) I'm pals with most of the Cinematic Titanic crew. Not that I'm NOT with a few others, just never spent as much time with 'em on the show or life in general, due to geography as much as anything. Love those guys. Went to their show in Minneapolis last year, had a blast.
Generally, what's your honest opinion of MST3K and Rifftrax fans. Obviously they support you and pay you and all that good stuff. But do you ever find yourself growing tired of the general geekiness, arguing about Mike vs Joel, that kind of stuff? Are you like a disgruntled Star Trek cast member who wishes that people would look at you as something other than "that guy who voiced Crow on MST3K"? Generally speaking, I think RiffTrax and MST3K fans are great, and I'm not just blowing smoke. Smart, funny, nice, respectful. And loyal in a way that we are very grateful for, especially as MST3K gets further back in the headlights, and we get older. (Well, as Mike and Kevin get older. I have a deal with a certain gentleman.)
Sure, every now and then we run across ultra-intense fans who seem equal parts "love you" and "hate you," leaning to the latter. And I don't know what's going on there. Some have VERY strong opinions about what you did right or wrong, or how you added to the show or fucked it up. I don't mind anyone thinking that I'm lame or not funny or whatever, but it does get tiring if someone who says he's your fan is always shows up to tell you.
But honestly, that is pretty rare. Thank god! And I know it's more about the phenomenon of intense fandom in general, than anything to do with us.
How does the experience of RiffTrax compare to MST3K? They have both been great in their own way. Since we do a lot of writing from various locations (Mike and writers Conor and Sean in San Diego; Kevin and I in Minneapolis), at first RiffTrax seemed a little lonely by comparison to MST3K. But while I have nothing but great memories of MST3K, this probably suits where we are in our lives right now a bit better: more mobile, easier to produce.
And yeah, I miss the puppet / backstory part of MST3K, but I don't know if trying to reproduce that would go so well. Hard to say.
Are you familiar with "Found Footage" groups like Everything is Terrible and Found Footage Fest? I think what they do is kind of in the same realm as what MST3K and RiffTrax does, or at least one realm over. If you are familiar, do you enjoy it? I know both of those groups! Everything is Terrible a bit more. Love what they do. At least part of our job at RiffTrax and MST3K has always been acting as curators to funny crap, and they do it brilliantly.
What's this about a comic book you're co-creating? Link to www.kickstarter.com
Where can I find more info on it? Thank you for your nice comments about RiffTrax. Mike and Kevin are midwestern boys, though! (Wisconsin and Illinois) I am the lone east coast guy of our trio (Brooklyn NY).
How did that come about? (I am happy for any support, but I also know that Reddit rightly frowns on people coming here just to hawk their wares.)
Was Joel high during all those episodes of MST3K? Whenever I watch old episodes on Netflix with my brother we both SWEAR he's high. Can you confirm or deny this? I cannot confirm or deny! But while I have probably hung out with Joel the least of all the cast members, I can say that you probably shouldn't underestimate how much that's just his own voice and natural mannerisms. And also his very effective comic style, if you've ever seen his early standup.
Let's say, someone were making a movie, and wanted, oh, I dunno. You, Mike, and Kevin to do the official DVD commentary. No holds barred, anything you wanted to say. How much would you guys want in compensation? We'd ask for literally billions. LITERALLY.
Also, why the hell has this not already happened? Nah, I don't know what we'd ask for. But this has not happened, and probably won't because 1) egos are hard currency in Hollywood, and offending a powerful actor or director could be suicidal for whoever greenlit getting us onboard 2) there is NO WAY AT ALL they'd not get involved in telling us what we can and can't say. And that would be awful for us.
How do you feel about how it came out? How much were you involved in the actual script? As for how I feel about it: I think I talked about this in my last IAmA, and my basic take summed up: the original idea was mine (though things like that had been seen before), and I invited a pal of mine, Rob Greenberg, to write the script with me. It was never a work of subtle art, even our draft. But I did think it started smarter, and got progressively more Hollywood dumb as more cooks came into the kitchen. Nothing unusual about that in Hollywood (see Tom Lennon's screenwriting book), in fact it's the norm. So I can't complain, and I got paid well. Not a good movie, though. Confused if it wants to be a kid's movie (didn't start as one) or not.
How difficult was it to learn how to operate the Crow puppet? Did Trace help you learn it at all, or was he like "I'm out, bitches, have fun Bill!" The timing was such that Trace was already in L.A. by the time I got handed Crow. I could have used his expertise, because Crow was tough to handle! He was a bit counterintuitive, top-heavy, and generally a kind of ornery puppet. So it was frustrasting at first to see that this character that Trace had brought to such amazing life suddenly was... less alive. But I practiced a lot, and eventually got him to wake up a bit.
Are berets included in your hat embargo? They are # 1 on the embargo list.
Do you, in fact, regret nothing? If so, you must respond appropriately. I already regret answering this, even as I continue to type OK STOP NOW.
Are there any movies that you've riffed that you actually really liked? Absolutely! Jaws, Raiders of the Lost Ark, LOTR series come to mind. And we even did a "RiffTrax Challenge" where we dared ourselves to riff a certified classic, CASABLANCA. I was pleased with how it came out, and still loved the movie. (Even if some of its older conventions / techniques haven't aged masterfully.)
Have you ever talked back during a movie - and been shushed? OR did you win them over and get them to laugh along? I don't like when people talk in actual movie theaters. I'm as silent as a ninja.
You've already answered what your favorite episodes are... so, what are your LEAST favorite movies that you ever had to do on MST3K (or RiffTrax for that matter)? Am I right in hypothesizing that Hobgoblins would be on the list? Hobgoblins was a tad annoying when it tried to be funny, but not so bad overall. I remember not loving Neptune Men.
Was it annoying to have to wear Brain Guy's Observer's makeup for part of the filming time every episode? How long did it take to put on before filming? (I wish I'd gotten to ask Kevin Murphy this as well... do you know?) Brain Guy's makeup was tough at first, but got less so as our makeup person Andrea switched from thick clown white to something less sweaty, and not as difficult to get off. But poor Kevin, with the ape suit. What a trooper.
In the blooper real ("Poopie!"), they showed Trace Beaulieu and Kevin Murphy doing their own puppeteering as well as the robot voices. Did all the robot-players do their own puppet manipulation as well? Yes. We did the puppeteering and voice work, in real time.
Okay... this is probably a stupid question, but... between RiffTrax and Cinematic Titanic, that's basically the entire cast of MST3K (throughout its entire history) doing... well, doing MST3K "clones." Why not just get back together and make the real thing again? Answered that above. Go up, young man! Or woman!
Y'all need to do a rifftrax live in Austin. Any chance of that happening? Ever? haha. Not in the immediate future, but we may expand into more live appearances in the future. Some combination of us, at least. Right now we're still trying to keep up a very regular release schedule of RiffTrax, which people still seem to like. Luckily!
Have you ever seen a ghost? Gary Busey is a ghost, right?
Will the live Manos show be using the newly restored film print? Not Ben Solovey's print, though we have talked to him, love his project and donated to it on Kickstarter. We can't wait to see what he does. but mostly because of timing, we couldn't coordinate the live show we wanted to do in August. HOWEVER: we will be showing the best version of this movie seen to date, from a private collector, which we are cleaning up ourselves at RiffTrax / Legend Films. And it even has a minute or so of never-seen-before footage.
Were you involved in the Space Mutiny Big McLargehuge bit? Yes! One of my fondest memories, just throwing out new names for that big muscledude who kept screaming like a little girl.
Like everyone else here I'm a huge fan, ever since my sister and I attempted to record an entire Turkey Day marathon ~1994 (my parents were not thrilled at 10-year-old me waking up and sneaking downstairs to change tapes in the VCR at 3AM). Joe Don Baker famously expressed a wish to mess up the Best Brains contingent who did MITCHELL. So we did our best to respond compassionately, and skewered him as bad or worse in FINAL JUSTICE.
Have you ever heard back from anyone connected to the movies you've riffed on (either during MST3K or RiffTrax)? What was their opinion of your treatment? Most people we've heard from (usually less well-known) have been pretty cool about it. Like being on the business end of a Don Rickles bit, I guess: a bit appalled, but also flattered for the attention.
Who would win in a fight: Prince of Space or Space Chief? They would both be avoiding a fight so hard that we'd get bored, leave, and never know.
If you could get any two writers (any time) to riff with you, who would you choose? Any two comedians? Hm.
Anyone from history? Um. Oscar Wilde and Socrates? ...I dunno.
Any two comedians? Man, SO many choices. But for now let's say Bill Cosby and Eddie Izzard. Just two of a list of many dozens that will come to mind right after I push "send."
Oh hai, Bill. So anyway, how's your sex life? But seriously, love you and the guys and everything you do. Will you ever retire from riffing on movie or do you think you'll do this til the very end? I'm so glad you asked about my sex life! Now brace yourself for a VERY graphic, disturbing, even nauseating discussion. Here we go!
Heh. Not sure if i'll ever retire from riffing movies. It's fun, and I get to work with great people who are also my friends.
Who do you consider some of your greatest inspirations in humor and your writing? Funny, I just started a Tumblr (I know...) and began a little series called "My Comic Heroes," with just pictures of people who I like and have found inspiring. My first thought, for some reason: Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie. Not that they're necessarily # 1, but I do love the British comics / sketch comedians of the past 50 years or so, including the Pythons of course.
Thanks so much for so many years of great laughs.. Big fan of MST3k and beyond! I could go on about other inspirations and heroes a LOT, and may have time to later (and may bore you tremendously)... but I'm gonna try to cover some more questions in the meantime.
What do you think the the future holds for Rifftrax renditions of silent films? I'm sure it would be uniquely challenging and would be really interesting for the live shows! We've never given this much thought! At least until The Artist came along and basically said "F you, sound." Heh.
Actually, it might be interesting but could wind up being more of a "fill in the dialogue" What's Up Tiger Lilly? thing. We did a little experiment in that a few years ago at RiffTrax, and it was fun but our plates were very full writing our regular stuff, and still are.
Having moved from the "classic schlock" of MST3K's selection of movies to the "modern drivel" that Rifftrax rips apart, have you found it easier or harder to lampoon things? Did the inherent sillyness of older movies make them easier to write jokes about, or is the modern material just as ripe for parody? Good question. Some things are easier about modern drivel, as you put it so well. Production values make it easier to see / hear them, for one thing. But sometimes the inherent silliness of old schlock does make things easier --e.g., the way chunk-headed 50s heroes always seemed to big clueless guys who woman fell for, FOR NO REASON. Anthropologically interesting. So I'm glad we now mix up our modern, mostly MP3-commentary movies with Video on Demand movies that are often older, less-known stuff. And shorts, always the shorts.
How come the live shows are always in the middle of the week? Seems like Saturday would net better crowds. Or is it too hard/expensive to book screens nationwide on weekends? Can you move the live Manos show to Wednesday? That Thursday will be tricky for me. I'm sure everyone else will understand. Re the live show, your reasons are exactly correct! We work with Fathom Entertainment, and their deal with nationwide theater chains has their shows happening on non-weekend days.
Have you ever thought of doing a "Starship Troopers" RiffTrax? No, though we did clips of it on MST3K. It falls into that zone of movie that we'd love to do but fear wouldn't sell well enough, unless and until we can get the rights. But as an MP3, it might be tough sledding for us. If and when we don't have to worry about that stuff, I'd love to. The clips we did on MST3K were fun.
Where in the U.S. have you yet to visit that you'd really like to? Portland! - ia!
Also, New Mexico and the Southwest in general. I've mostly just driven though, outside of one trip to Tucson for a theater thing years ago.
You probably get asked the same questions over and over, so here's one I've never seen you answer before: Do you like musicals, and if so, what's your favorite? Hey, you're right! Question I've never been asked before, thanks.
I love and hate musicals. So many cornball conventions, and when they're done badly it's really hard to sit through without dying of projected embarrassment. But when they're great, they're incredible works of art.
Favorites? West Side Story is still amazing. Man of La Mancha. Only heard the music to Book of Mormon, but love it. Can't wait to see it when it comes here in Minneapolis this fall.
San Diego Comic Con 2012: will you be there? Yes. At least for a panel. Signing might be something harder to fit in this year, since we're prepping for another big live show in August. MANOS!
When are we going to see "Brain Guy, the One Observer Show"? Ha. That would be SO filthy.
Do you like the names of lots of fish? Nah, the fish have really failed, name-wise. BIG opportunity wasted, they should be ashamed.
Are there any moments during terrible movies where you're like, "Okay, THAT'S good, can't riff that." and if so, what are they? Yes. I know I've had that feeling when we're in the middle of a generally terrible movie, but there's somehow an effective moment, bit of performance, or something that's meant to be funny and IS funny.
But for the life of me, I can't come up with one right now! I'll revisit this Q later if something pops into my head, sorry.
Why subject yourself to Manos? Why?! Also, thanks for the years of entertainment and laughs you've given me and my family throughout the years. I don't know. What is WRONG with us?
Where in the world did you find Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny? I think it had been an underground favorite for years, but I first remember RiffTrax writer Conor Lastowka bringing it up as something we should do. Hope I have that right.
Do you play TF2? Sorry, no.
Do your loved ones hate watching movies with you because you can't help yourself? Mine do. And it's all your fault! I'm SO sorry. Maybe build a one-person cone of silence?
As swell as Rifftrax is, any chance of MST3K coming back? Sweet times. Never say never, but my guess is: probably not, at least not as a regular thing. It's really not in my hands, though everything really SHOULD be.
Do you hang out on any movie message boards at all? If so, which? Not really, sorry.
Do you like me? Nope! Should I?
Whats your stance on the pirating of RiffTrax? I would assume against it, but other artists/musicians/entertainers seem to not mind as long as the material gets out there and people enjoy themselves. Just curious as to where you stand on the issue. Big issue, pondered by many who have thought longer about it than me. And too complicated to take on properly here, esp. with my pea brain. But --
My thinking has evolved from: hey, don't take our stuff for free! To: well, it's impossible to stop, and maybe if it gets word out there, it'll all be worth it in the end. That's what they tell me.
The problem for us is that we're not a big studio or bankrolled as such, so if that latter strategy DOESN'T work for us we're screwed. We just can't keep doing this and support our families if we don't make enough to keep the business going, so if someone thinks they're sticking it to us by not paying, they may be right. And we might have to move on, eventually, for that reason.
We're always gratified when people enjoy themselves with our stuff -- hell, we wouldn't do this otherwise. But at some point we do have to make a living from it, or find something else that will make us a living. It's a two-way street. If someone wants to think of themselves as Robin Hood for pirating our stuff, I can't stop 'em. But since our stuff is priced so low, I also don't have to respect that choice as something noble.
Much more to say on the topic, I'm sure. Not enough time or space to deal with it, given all the other Qs. Thanks for a good question, though.
How did you get connected with John Moe and the excellent Wits shows he puts on with MPR in Minnesota? John moved here from Seattle a few years ago to host a show called WEEKEND AMERICA, and asked me to do a bit on the show. He was a MST3K fan, and I knew and liked his writing. He is a very, very funny and smart guy. ...Oh, and when WITS was created he asked Kevin and I to get involved. It's been fun.
Do you like my hat? Link to i.imgur.com. NO. COMMENT.
Can you make me popular with girls? Only by example. Watch me, and do the opposite.
So, I've torrented a few of your tracks to the videos they riff. I've donated $10. Should I feel bad not going through your website? I'd say if you donated, there is no need for guilt. Let it go! Have a witch doctor give it to someone who deserves it!
I think you're a better Crow than Beaulieu, some people don't agree with me. I think Trace Beaulieu is a comic genius. I appreciate when people say they prefer me as Crow, or whatever, and I don't want be ungrateful about it. Different strokes, and all. But I think Trace is so awesomely talented and was so good as Crow that I can't imagine being better. Thank you, though!
What are your favorite mst3k/rifftrax episodes? Answered Qs about favorite episodes above somewhere above....
Have you encountered any more pony/brony activity after making this tweet back in October? What's your take on the whole thing? I made another brony joke a few weeks later and got slammed by some bronies! Those guys do not mess around.
I don't have much of a take on the whole thing, honestly. Don't know much. At first glance it seems utterly ridiculous, but there may be some super-ironic thing going on that I am not aware of. Alls I know is, don't insult bronies again or you pay the Twitter-price!
Kevin Murphy and Joe Don Baker in a cage with a tire iron on the ground between them. One man comes out alive. Who wins? My money's on Kevin. Many's the tie I fought Kevin with a tie iron, and I always wind up in the hospital. So: advantage Murphy.
Also, we may be middle aged now. But J-D Baker, that boy is OLD.
Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris or Rowsdower? Norris would be kicking his ass thoroughly until Rowsdower deployed his secret weapon: a stupefying beer-belch. Then goodbye, Chuck!
off I'm a huge MST3K/CT/Rifftrax Fan! Thanks for doing this! I was wondering if you guys ever though about Riffing (new release) movie trailers as maybe a marketing tool for when you eventually (or don't) release the full length Rifftrax for the DVD? That's a great idea. And we're about to do something LIKE that, though not exactly that. Stay tuned!
Big fan. Don't really have any questions, though. Oops. I'll take it!
Following your last AMA I delved into the darkness that is Rifftrax; thank you for re-introducing me to your specific style of comedy. Aye, 'tis the very darkness itself.
I didn't even realize how much I missed MST3K; spoiler alert: It was a whole fucking lot. (thanks you, from the darkness)
I don't have a question, but i just wanted to say thank you for MST3k, it is, in my opinion, the greatest show ever made, and I don't think I would look at film or sci-fi in general the way I do today had it not been for that amazing show. best of luck in your future pursuits sir. Thank you very much. I can't and don't claim to have invented MST3K, but I loved it and was lucky to be a part of it.
Hi, I just wanted to say thank you and thank you to all the people who work on mst3k and riff trax, I have been having a rough time and last weekend I saw a riff trax on hulu and it made me laugh so hard I cried and I really got a boost from it, so thanks again. Hooray! Thanks, and I hope you're doing better.
Last updated: 2012-04-22 05:43 UTC Next update: 2012-04-22 11:43 UTC
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